Saturday, May 30, 2009

from an 864 phone number, Saturday, May 30, 7:34 PM

Um, no... But I did get guacamole.
hey this is stomy me and nikki are at karissas house i already text him and told him i do not no where he is your

from a 909 phone number, Friday, May 29, 5:28 PM
How do we go from the whereabouts of Stormy, Nikki, and Karissa (but not the whereabouts of 'him') to Leila being a jerk? How is any of this Leila's fault?
Hi darling what do you want for dinner
from a 510 phone number, Friday, May 29, 9:00 PM

wats up gorgeous hehe;)

from a 201 phone number, Saturday, May 30, 12:40 AM

Oh, right, the other uncool thing about the Leila Texts is receiving sweet, loving messages that are intended for every Leila except me.
FWD: FWD: FWD: Pass a butterfly )i( along to everyone that has ever made you laugh, smile, love or been there for you. I hope i get one back!
from an 860 phone number, Friday, May 29, 3:52 PM

FWD: FWD: FWD: - Fwd: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD:Msg: FWD: FWD:FWD: Hey forward this to ten friends then look at your wallpaper.//Dont get mad its funny.
from an 860 phone number, Saturday, May 30, 10:41 AM

God, these two chain texts are so done. Receiving these dozens of times over the past two years has been the only uncool thing about the Leila Texts.
i know! it's TOTALLY going to rock!
from a 256 phone number, Friday, May 29, 2:23 PM

Good. Because I EXCLUSIVELY do things that TOTALLY rock.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

leila. if u want ican pick up juju
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, May 28, 12:53 PM

Huh. That might have saved Leila a whole lot of trouble, if it had come to fruition. You know: Oops.
From: Nikki
Sent: May 27 4:58 PM
Msg: Send this to 5 people and if u dont watch out>:->

from an 860 phone number, Wednesday, May 27, 5:04 PM

I prefer the forwards where they promise me that something good will happen if I follow the instructions, rather than the ones that threaten me with something bad if I do not. Still, props for the frowny emoticon. See his furrowed brow? Dude looks angry.
Leila,luk up 1970 Jasper Creek Pl 89123. It's in 4closur - val
from a702 phone number, Tuesday, May 26, 10:08 PM

And it costs less than $300K, apparently. Do you think Val is pointing out that this home is in foreclosure (or "4closur"--ha!) because he and Leila are looking to buy?
( . . )
C 0 0

from a 707 phone number, Tuesday, May 26, 8:58 PM

If this were an item on a Scav Hunt list, you could decode it to mean "Bring me coleslaw."
Fwd : The day I stop being there 4 u is the day I close my eyes 4ever. If I dont get this back I understand. Send to 15 ppl u w0nt turn ur b4ck on
from an 847 phone number, Tuesday, May 26, 5:57 PM

Not the first time I received this text. Different typos; same sentiment.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

habib kaleab waz da 1 chatin wiz u on sunday
from a 301 phone number, Monday, May 25, 1:39 PM

Originally I thought this was all in a foreign language, but on closer inspection I realize this is actually a version of English. It translates roughly to, "Leila Habib: Kaleab was the one chatting with you on Sunday."

This was so easy that I worry I've been interpreting text messages for too long.
So you bought the tickets?
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, May 24, 4:58 PM

FWD: I bought the ticketssss!!!!!!!!! Im so exciteddddd!!!!!!!!!! (:
from a 774 phone number, Sunday, May 24, 7:26 PM

Wait, so who ultimately bought the tickets?
Hey do u wanna come swimming?
from a 646 phone number, Sunday, May 24, 1:32 PM

I was so tempted. Sunday was a beautiful warm day, and 646 is in the NYC area... I really wanted to text back "YES."
FWD: Fwd:Fwd:I luv u 4 a LiFETiME! B4 midnite sumthing will make u HAPPY. But u gotta tall @ least 8 ppl u luv them. i hope i get ONE!
from a 281 phone number, Saturday, May 23, 1:07 PM

My friend Katie from England is staying with me right now, and I guess she doesn't really read this blog or something, because, when I showed her this text, she was like, "But how do you know this isn't from one of your friends?" I was like, "Katie. Because my friends don't send texts like this."
can u come around 6 oclock? 4 the sleepover tonight?
from a 973 phone number, Saturday, May 23, 10:34 PM

If there's one thing that's sad about being an adult, it's that we no longer have sleepovers. Also, we have to clean our own stovetops.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

wat movie
from a 615 phone number, Friday, May 22, 8:54 PM

Eerily, I received this text just as I was sitting down to watch a Rooftop Film. I nearly wrote back, "It's a series of independent romance shorts," before I realized 615 wasn't actually asking me.
FWD: I am camping
from a 208 phone number, Friday, May 22, 7:12 PM

I want to go camping this summer, too. Actually, to be more accurate, I want to roast s'mores. Whether or not I go camping to do so is a minor point.
How are things going no baby yet ? Haven't heard from u so i take it no. What u up to ?gonna have a bbq later if u want
from a 207 phone number, Friday, May 22, 11:04 PM

It sounds like Leila is just about nine months pregnant, like it's totally possible that she had a baby, say, yesterday. Do we really think that a nine-month-pregnant Leila would want to go to a BBQ?