Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy valentines day everyone! Love yall! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
from a 719 phone number, Saturday, February 14, 1:15 AM

from a 281 phone number, Saturday, February 14, 3:05 PM

It's only 3:15 PM, so there will probably be more where these texts come from. But for now, a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all you Leila Texters out there, too!
hey if u guys want 2, my mom says that u guys could sleepover on saturday and she would pick u guys up on saturday and ur parents could puck u up on sun
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, February 12, 9:16 PM

There must have been a more parsimonious way of getting across this message. Kids these days! You give 'em 160 characters, and they use every goddamn one.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hey should i still go tomorrow?
from a 774 phone number, Thursday, February 12, 4:37 PM

Go where? I mean, yeah, you probably should still go, since you were supposed to go in the first place. I don't know. Why isn't this a Valentine's Day text? Valentine's Day is in like 30 hours; shouldn't I really be getting more texts asking various Leilas out on dates?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

from a 516 phone number, Wednesday, February 11, 5:08 PM

This was my first word, when I was learning how to speak. As you can tell, it's a very useful one.
Happy birthday to leila
from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, February 10, 1:16 AM

Have you ever found that it's so difficult to send a unique "happy birthday" text or write a unique "happy birthday" note on someone's facebook wall? Writing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in all caps doesn't help (everyone does that). Adding on a bunch of exclamation points, like, "happy birthday!!!!!!" also doesn't help (everyone does that, too). Writing "happy birthday to leila" is a little more unique than simply "happy birthday, leila," but not by much.

This is one of those problems of modernity that I struggle with constantly.
FWD: Hey send me those videos :)
from a 774 phone number, Wednesday, February 11, 3:34 PM

This seems like a very normal text message to send. Unless "those videos" are snuff films. In which case this would not be a very normal text message.

Monday, February 9, 2009

are you up? im in the ER. LRQ pain. it hurts bad. thinking abt taking pain meds want to let someone know. please call me
from a 510 phone number, Monday, February 9, 4:54 AM

Jesus Christ. I can't figure out what LRQ pain is, but it sounds not good. And I think if you've made it as far as the Emergency Room, then it is definitely time for some pain meds.

I texted 510 when I woke up this morning to say that Leila hadn't received his text and that I hoped he was feeling better. I didn't hear back from him, though. I hope that doesn't mean he's in a coma or anything.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


from a 703 phone number, Saturday, February 7, 10:35 PM

Why the frowny face? "Hi" seems like a kind of positive message, actually.
Just to let you know that i did not receive a check yet. Didn't want to bother you with a phone call.
from an 832 phone number, Saturday. February 7, 5:20 PM

I texted this person back to say that Leila didn't receive his message. Money is a sensitive matter, and I didn't want 832 believing that Leila is a purposeful deadbeat or something.
hey so how was town center

from an 843 phone number, Saturday, February 7, 4:24 PM

This reminds me of that scene in Wet Hot American Summer where they go into town for an hour and wind up in a crack den. I mean, how do you think town center was?
Hey this is leila texting you and ims using carolines phone that is very hard to text with
from a 913 phone number, Saturday, February 7, 11:26 AM

Either Leila is texting herself from Caroline's phone (which would be weird), or this Leila is friends with yet another Leila (which would also be weird). Weird all around.