Friday, December 31, 2010

We r gonna b at grandma,tueeys dad said call us when u r free tho :)
from an 808 phone number, Monday, December 27, 8:48 PM EST

nvm wrong persom
from an 808 phone number, Monday, December 27, 8:49 PM EST

This is impressive because it’s a double misdirected text. It wasn’t supposed to go to me, but apparently it wasn’t even supposed to go to this OTHER Leila. So I have no idea who might need this information about how 808 is gonna b at grandma’s. I’ll just put it on the Internet in case any of you find it relevant.
Are u going to sleep over tommorow
from a 323 phone number, Tuesday, Decemver 28, 5:54 PM EST

hope u found ur boots. thanks again 4 tthe sleepover. aliyah will sleep good 2nite!
from a 215 phone number, Tuesday, December 28, 6:00 PM EST

‘Tis the season. For sleepovers, because no one has school this week.
hope you had a good Christmas and happy new year love you bean
from a 603 phone number, Wednesday, December 29, 9:52 AM EST

My dad calls me bean! But this is not a text message from my dad. For starters, I don’t think he really knows how to text.
hernandez Hey wat u get 4 x-mas? are we bffl? I am Sam! Jk.
from a 303 phone number, Monday, December 27, 9:45 PM EST

hernandez Hey do you wanna go skating with me on friday?
from a 303 phone number, Wednesday, December 29, 12:39 PM EST

I have received so many text messages invitations to go ice skating this school vacation week. I haven’t accepted any of them, because I don’t know any of these people. But I’m glad they keep trying to include me, anyway.
Hey r u coming home now?
from a 757 phone number, Wednesday, December 29, 10:22 PM EST

Lei it is so late….somebody will drop u?
from a 757 phone number, Thursday, December 30, 1:15 AM EST

Whoops. I slept through the second of these two messages. I hope Leila made it home okay without my aid.
It’s overcast, pouring rain, and 48 degrees. I’m so happy right now
from a 315 phone number, Thursday, December 30, 9:55 AM EST

Wherever 315 is, it’s clearly not the northeast, where it’s sunny, 28 degrees, and everything is covered in fourteen inches of snow.
Hes bout halfway thru. doin ok so far
from a 724 phone number, Thursday, December 30, 5:57 PM EST

It kind of sucks to have your parents sit there, watching you take the SAT.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Leila estoy tratando de ablar con mi hija por fabor llamame o conteste el telefono
from a 908 phone number, Sunday, December 26, 10:16 PM EST

"Leila, I am trying to talk to my daughter, please call me or answer the phone."

BOOM. Who said I lost all my high-school Spanish skills? Guys, I hit this one out of the park!
Dont hurryhome...I went toget too meds Dad requested.Perdad I am the crazy drunk cause = am drinking wine and is is totally normal n normal...asleep .
from a 520 phone number, Sunday, December 26, 8:57 PM EST

I'm going to have to agree with your dad on this one count, 520: You are a crazy drunk.
Hi leila...Did mom like her earrings
from a 270 phone number, Saturday, December 25, 9:32 PM EST

Probably. As long as they came from the heart.

Merry Boxing Day!
Taste of thai now Debbie Fleming, CRS, ABR Realtor
from a 540 phone number, Wednesday, December 22, 11:52 AM EST

I can't tell if these are two connected thoughts (one about Taste of Thai, the restaurant, and the other about Debbie Fleming, the realtor), or, alternatively, whether this is a text FROM Debbie Fleming, and that is her sig line. Here's the scoop on Debbie Fleming. Does this clarify anything? Does it say "loves Thai food" on her website anywhere?
is it cioppino?
from a 775 phone number, Monday, December 20, 11:04 PM EST

In case you, like me, did not know what cioppino is, here is the Wikipedia definition. It's a fish stew developed in the late 1800s. Huh.
Can u pick up bread at clements on ur way back? I can tell u which loaf.
from a 401 phone number, Friday, December 24, 4:52 PM EST

One sign that you’re in an over-controlling relationship is when your spouse doesn’t even grant you the free will to choose which loaf of bread to buy from Clement’s.
barackman Omg text back already!lol
from a 917 phone number, Saturday, December 25, 1:21 PM EST

Is Leila really into our nation’s president, or, alternatively, is her last name actually Barackman?
Ahhh just got my ringgggggg
from an 860 phone number, Friday, December 24, 10:39 PM EST

Engagements are so exciting. Does the Leila Texts support picture messaging? I want to see a photo! As long as it is not a blood diamond, of course, as we are all socially conscious here on this blog.
hey! what are those pancakes called?
from a 609 phone number, Friday, December 24, 12:14 PM EST

Um, “pancakes”? Or, okay, “silver dollar pancakes”? Or “latkes”?
Leila you arc stopit
from a 515 phone number, Thursday, December 23, 2:17 PM EST

Leila is stopit
from a 515 phone number, Friday, December 24, 9:03 AM EST

Leila is
from a 515 phone number, Friday, December 24, 11:55 AM EST

Leila is the b
from a 515 phone number, Friday, December 24, 3:04 PM EST

li like my sistr
from a 515 phone number, Friday, December 24, 7:02 PM EST

515 has been trying so hard to say this thing to Leila. So hard. She is constantly trying to tell Leila this ONE THING. But what the hell is it? We may never know…
copy pants :p get it pants lol
from a 313 phone number, Wednesday, December 22, 3:18 PM EST

I know a girl (Sarah, of the Forever Young Adult blog) who is really into adding “pants” on to the end of everything. If this isn’t a text from Sarah, then it must be a text from her soul mate.
FWD: HELLO..LULU. HAVING FUN? HELLO 2 TAYLOR & HER MOM, PLEASE. LOTS OF SNOW? HOPE U JUST ENOUGH SNOW 2 ALLOW U ALL THE FUN U CAN HANDLE. XOXOXO BIRDIE
from a 925 phone number, Wednesday, December 22, 1:05 PM EST

THERE’S NO SNOW YET, GRANDMA. Supposedly a blizzard today, though!
I am hoping to get in if u dont hear from me by 5 send dae a message. love you mum
from a 770 phone number, Tuesday, December 21, 3:59 PM EST

Didnot make it i am so sad.
from a 770 phone number, Tuesday, December 21, 406 PM EST

This seemed like a lot of strong emotions on the part of Leila’s mom, so I texted her back to say that Leila hadn’t received her messages, and that she should re-send them by pulling Leila’s name out of her contacts list.

Sorry not sure how.
from a 770 phone number, Tuesday, December 21, 5:18 PM EST

So then I gave up. If I hadn’t been at work, I might have called her and walked her through it, but as it was, I just didn’t have it in me.
FWD: Scroll down and see Santa’s penis.




-Act your freakin age. Theres no Santa. You just wanted to see a penis !!! ☺

from a 701 phone number, Tuesday, December 21, 10:51 AM EST

For those of you who feel disappointed that the Leila Texts does not today include a photo of Santa’s penis, I suggest that you visit my cousin’s company's website, www.pornaments.com. They sell Christmas tree ornaments called “pornaments.” I think you can see where this is going.

So what do your cousins do?
Hey i love you babii
from a 703 phone number, Monday, December 20, 5:16 PM EST

I love you
from a 224 phone number, Monday, December 20, 9:23 PM EST

i am sorry i will try harder to keep my mouth shut i want you to be happy because i love you so much
from a 330 phone number, Tuesday, December 21, 7:23 AM EST

This has been a good week for Leila-love.
So did u ever get ahold of anybody about gage
~Robs wife~

from a 406 phone number, Monday, December 20, 4:24 PM EST

Honey r u mad at me? i get the feeling that we don’t talk as much as we used ti anymore. im sorry if i did something.
from a 406 phone number, Monday, December 20, 8:48 PM EST

Ok so i decided that if i ever think about getting a beagle plz have me committed bc i have done lost my mind.lol
from a 406 phone number, Tuesday, December 21m 3:34 PM EST

Maybe Leila is mad at 406 because Leila actually really likes beagles?
Hey! Are you up!
from a 585 phone number, Monday, December 20, 7:01 AM EST

At seven in the morning! Absolutely not!
Wow their the ones who told us to take our time >☹
LetsRobABank:)

from a 360 phone number, Monday, December 20, 12:55 AM EST

Can i wear your southpole pants plz and ill put mine on your bed
LetsRobABank:)

from a 360 phone number, Monday, December 20, 2:55 PM EST

These plans to rob a bank keep getting more and more complicated. Now we even know what pants 360 will be wearing on the heist.
Hey leila what are u doing today
Jack Daniel’s / Acid Rain

from a 228 phone number, Thursday, December 16, 12:24 PM EST

It’s so funny, but today I am either getting wasted on Jack Daniel’s, or I am going to play with acid rain. What are you doing today?
MERRY CHRISTMAS LOVE YOU!
from s 414 phone number, Saturday, December 25, 1:20 AM EST

Merry x-mas
from a 917 phone number, Saturday, December 25, 7:33 AM EST

Merry christmas to all and to all a good night
from a 302 phone number, Saturday, December 25, 12:21 PM EST

And a merry Christmas to all of you, too!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Hey Leila. Where did u get that white dress from that u wore @ MIP?
from a 941 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 7:32 PM EST

All I'm turning up for "MIP" is "Minor in Possession." Presumably 941 is not asking Leila where she bought that white dress that she wore to her court hearing after having been caught with alcohol.
Just passed the masadonian cultural center by patterson...hahahahaha
from a 908 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 7:37 PM EST

There are a lot of Macedonian Cultural Centers in the U.S. 908 is in New Jersey, so presumably that's the one this individual is referring to. Why that's funny, though, I have no idea. Inside joke, I guess.
Pls remember to clean out matt's room tonight your clothes from the dryer are on the chair in the family room c's cough is getting bad dehumidifier
from a 978 phone number, Thursday, December 16, 6:57 PM EST

I am exhausted just reading this text, and I don't even have to do any of these things.
FWD: Please see m right after 6th period tomorrow for 5 min. Debaters, I also have your evidence. Leila, please tell Allen.
from a 928 phone number, Friday, December 17, 12:35 AM EST

Oh my God, did I totally predict that 928 was texting about a public speaking club? I totally did!
call me leila call me now
from a 208 phone number, Friday, December 17, 12:50 PM EST

you need to call me
from a 330 phone number, Saturday, December 18, 10:46 AM EST

Everybody needs to chill out here.
On the plane to Nairobi, wil mis you. happy xmas Barb JB Tuck
from a 646 phone number, Saturday, December 18, 7:57 AM EST

Wow! That must be such a long flight. How cool, though. I don't think I know anyone who has been to Nairobi.
hernandez Good morning bffl
I am Sam! Jk.

from a 303 phone number, Saturday, December 18, 10:35 AM EST

To paraphrase: Good morning, best friend for life. I am Sam! Just kidding.

So if 303 isn't Sam, who is she?
This is what I have so far...let me know what you think
from a 661 phone number, Friday, December 17, 9:07 PM EST

Hey I have a question for you sweet pea...will you sign a lease with me...
from a 661 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 12:33 PM EST

We found this cheap apartment for 700 in palmdale and I was wondering if you will go on it with me?
from a 661 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 12:35 PM EST

Call me old-fashioned, but before I sign a lease with someone, I at least want to know the address of the apartment, or see a photo of it, or, I don't know, something. But, then, I am no a very spontaneous individual.
to drop gracie at 6 mom Leila to drop gracie ast 6 mom
from a 317 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 3:01 PM EST

I'm starting to get the impression like Leila's mom wants her to drop Gracie at 6, but maybe she should repeat that a couple more times to make sure I understand.
Hello Leila loves me
from a 336 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 3:25 PM EST

Don't put words in my mouth.
hannah is such a jerk
from a 760 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 5:05 PM EST

That's actually not true. I know two girls named Hannah, and I adore both of them.
I have millys medal and trophy i will keep them safe
from a 270 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 6:05 PM EST

Milly did a kickass job at that hunter-jumper competition today.
li like yor fon
from a 515 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 8:02 AM EST

li luve yor fonon
from a 515 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 3:29 PM EST

You arn best sisr
from a 515 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 4:14 PM EST

li like you fonon evin you arn sisrand
from a 515 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 4:30 PM EST

li like yor fonon bo cus you arn the best sisr
from a 515 phone number, Wednesday, December 15, 4:38 PM EST

You arc the best sisre
from a 515 phone number, Thursday, December 16, 8:46 AM EST

515 wants so badly to make herself understood, but it keeps just not quite happening. She likes Leila's phone? Leila is the best sister? Right?
Whoz on the fone with mom
LetsRobABank:)

from a 360 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 5:08 PM EST

Wheres mom is she coming yet
LetsRobABank:)

from a 360 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 9:06 PM EST

The real question is: Does mom know we're going to rob a bank?
Ugh. i rly dont wanna come upstairs because this isall sooooo frckn embarasssssing
from an 818 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 11:02 PM EST

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. now ur prolly gona tel kelsey tht she was rite n NEVER come ovr agen. ohb joy
from an 818 phone number, Sunday, December 19, 11:04 PM EST

818, I am now going to explain to you the difference between cool people and uncool people. Listen closely. It's not that humiliating things never happen to cool people. They do. (Albeit less frequently.) The difference is that cool people are able to play them off. They're like, "Ha, ha, whatever," and they toss their hair and change the subject. Uncool people say things like, "Ugh, now you're going to tell Kelsey about this embarrassing thing that happened to me, and then you will never come over again, because you hate me now!" You can avoid this fate, 818. I believe in you.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Send picture of kids
from a 218 phone number, Tuesday, December 7, 6:04 PM EST

send me ur address so i can send u the boys school pic and dis my cell
from a 503 phone number, Thursday, December 9, 12:09 AM EST

So these are two totally unconnected text messages, from two texters who do not know each other, to two different Leilas. But if only we could put them in touch! They would have an incredibly happy back-and-forth of sharing children's photos, and no Leilas would have to be involved.
Mark my words she is going to get the doctor to say that se can only work a few hours a day
from a 484 phone number, Wednesday, December 8, 6:37 PM EST

She is such a lazy ass. And our boss just lets her get away with it, and then WE have to pick up all the slack!
I need blakes drivers licnse number and exp date and spsial sec number
from a 218 phone number, Friday, December 10, 10:56 AM EST

"I am an aspiring identity thief, but I am doing a poor job of it."
Baby two is better than one ;) love u cutie! Hope ur havin a great day! Its so cold here brrrr
from an 856 phone number, Friday, December 10, 11:08 AM EST

I like to rank my children. I prefer my second daughter to my first. She's just a better person. I'm very cavalier about saying this because my children are only infants. They don't even understand English yet.
layla leo lio 1 week! :) if ya know what i mean.!
from an 816 phone number, Sunday, December 12, 4:04 PM EST

I definitely do not know what you mean.
hey leila i dont know but i was thinking about doing a christmas breakfast or dinner on christmas eve. i just know they not gonna do nothing for her
from a 301 phone number, Monday, December 13, 5:55 AM EST

Who's not going to do nothing for whom? Is it someone's birthday on Christmas Day? That must kind of suck. My dad's birthday is on Thanksgiving, and it's no picnic. Mine is often on Passover. Sucks if you like birthday cake.
I found your itrip woooo!

~ Forever & Always ~

from an 803 phone number, Monday, December 13, 5:51 PM EST

So now all of us know what Leila is getting for Christmas. It's this thing, by the way.
are you an aunt yet?
from a 716 phone number, Tuesday, December 14, 3:21 PM EST

Sometimes I think about how many text messages new mothers must have waiting for them when they finally emerge from the delivery room. But I have never before thought about how many text messages new aunts have waiting for them.
My feet look horrible
from a 323 phone number, Tuesday, December 14, 8:09 PM EST

Ah, the continuing adventures of 323.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

What did u get betty and sandy for a gift? as usual i have no ideas. char
from 1 614 phone number, Wednesday, December 8, 11:14 AM EST

As they say in my industry: Books are great gifts!

I think between now and Christmas I should open up the Leila Texts as a personal gifting service. For example: Books for Betty and Sandy. WHO IS NEXT?
sorry dude my phone shit the bed had to get a new one
from a 307 phone number, Tuesday, December 7, 7:41 PM EST

I had no idea that "shit the bed" was an expression, but, now that I know, I will have to use it all the time.
Send me katies number
from a 323 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 7:11 PM EST

I forgot u take karen home maybe saturday
from a 323 phone number, Sunday, December 5, 9:52 PM EST

Yes! at ur house?
from a 323 phone number, Tuesday, December 7, 7:03 PM EST

U at fresh n easy yet
from a 323 phone number, Wednesday, December 8, 9:27 PM EST

Hi do you and your mom want to make cookies sunday night and go drive thru Candy Cane Lane?
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, December 9, 12:16 PM EST

Is karen mad
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, December 9, 6:57 PM EST

S u happy wit ur books
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, December 9, 11:47 PM EST

So im probs not going 2morrow play soccer
from a 323 phone number, Friday, December 10, 9:14 PM EST

323 is near Los Angeles, and, after this week of text messages, I feel like we know a LOT about Los Angeles. For example, Fresh and Easy is a grocery store, and Candy Cane Lane is a real thing, and it sounds amazing.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I think i maybe in love with him. But i cant get the courage to say so.
from a 770 phone number, Sunday, December 5, 7:23 PM EST

I'm dubious as to whether this is a real Leila Text. Something seems off about it. Regardless, here is my advice to you, 770 (and what I am positive Leila would say, too, if she ever received this message from you): You "think" you are "maybe" in love with him? Honey, before you "work up the courage to say so," you best be DAMN SURE. Because what is the point of destroying your perfectly good friendship/undermining his relationship with your best friend/getting in trouble with the law if you only THINK he's worth it?
Fyi salsa and bean dip in garade fridge....tortilla chips in pantry if you want!
from a 425 phone number, Sunday, December 5, 7:29 PM EST

This text message makes me want to babysit for 425, too.
Hey do u have lukes email?
from a 513 phone number, Monday, December 6, 8:23 PM EST

Dude, you can't EMAIL him! Then he will know that you LIKE him! Emailing a boy is a surefire giveaway that you have a crush on him. How do you not know this?

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I have to take a shower now ill tex when i get out
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 9:58 PM EST

I need to be kept constantly abreast of 201's whereabouts. It will be hard for me to wait until he's out of the shower for his next textual communication.
i love you more than you will ever know be safe today mom
from a 330 phone number, Friday, December 3, 9:03 AM EST

If my mother even figured out how to text message, this is the sort of thing she would send me.
1 seaflower lane in marshfield
from a 781 phone number, Friday, December 3, 4:57 PM EST

That would be here. I have to say, I am FROM Massachusetts, and I still had to zoom way out on this GoogleMap to figure out where this location is.
Bonne nuit puppycat
from a 406 phone number, Friday, December 3, 11:56 PM EST

When genetic scientists bred a dog and a cat, they thought nothing would happen. They had no idea they were unleashing (get it? GET IT??) the beast known as the Puppycat.
Ron dixon
from a 585 phone number, Saturday, December 4, 4:59 PM EST

See, this is what I mean about the Leila Texters and sports information. I feel informed, now.
Hey Leila! Its Larisa. i wanted to know when and what time your party is cuz my mom left the invatation at my g mas and 4got it...
from a 616 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 9:28 PM EST

I am hugely in favor of print invitations because they feel old-fashioned in a really lovely way, but it is true that the problem with print is that if you leave it somewhere, you no longer have access to that information. It's not like Larisa can just pull up the evite on her iPhone.
Hey wazzz upszzz
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, December 1, 9:01 PM EST

Sometimes even narcoleptics text Leilas.
Hi im working 9-6 sunday that would be better for me to go to the movies but if u wanna go tonight we can : )
from a 732 phone number, Tuesday, November 30, 4:37 PM EST

Hey, what movie are you guys going to see? Can I come? I'll buy the popcorn and be really quiet, I swear you won't even notice I'm there.
Kkk,& if ya get me&kailey a gift we just want money,
from a 989 phone number, Tuesday, November 30, 3:29 PM EST

My issue here is not how overtly mercenary 989 is. My issue is that she sees no problem with starting a text message with the acronym for the Ku Klux Klan.
Hi how are you buy my book.
from a 702 phone number, Friday, December 3, 1:10 AM EST

I don't know what 702's book is, but, while we're on the topic, buy my book, too! It's called Mostly Good Girls.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Moms aunt in Canada died this morning. It will be u called mom. Ask Leila and harris to call her.
from a 240 phone number, Monday, November 29, 3:25 PM EST

My grandmother died on Monday, too. It was really sad. I think it's been a rough week for a number of Leilas.
Kathy deardon has your job and keith finally gave up on Trevor he said he will never start
from a 978 phone number, Monday, November 29, 1:33 PM EST

Trevor is a goddamn slacker. It's a JOB, Trev. In this economy, you best buckle down to work.
i don’t want 2 go 2 skool tomorrow! wah wah wah
(Merry Christmas peeps)

from a 978 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 7:18 PM EST

Not to be the Jewish Grinch here, but just because it's a few days after Thanksgiving does not make it "Merry Christmas" time. I'm hard-pressed even to grant you "happy winter" prior to December 21st.
FWD: all honestly were did u guys go last nite
K. Maher Jr

from a 732 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 7:01 PM EST

All honestly, K. Maher Jr, we went to a party. We went to an awesome party without you. The drinks were free and all those people you have crushes on were there. Celebrities were there, as well. All honestly, that is where we went without you last night.
Have u seen sing_a majig dolls? i was thinking of getting them for the little ones.
from a 614 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 12:20 PM EST

""They're cute, they're zany, they're the latest singing sensation! They're...The Sing-a-ma-jigs!" No, I did not make that up.
how was the game today?
from a 619 phone number, Saturday, November 27, 5:59 PM EST

Excuse me, 619. You seem to be mistaken. The job of the Leila Texts is to inform me about sports, not to ask me about sports. I don't know how the "game" was. That's your job.
Hey there is ice on the pond
Happy Thanksgiving

from a 978 phone number, Saturday, November 27, 10:21 AM EST

'Tis the season. Just don't skate on it and then fall into the pond and then freeze to death. I'm just saying, that's a bad idea, in my opinion.
Did u get the dress?
from an 850 phone number, Friday, November 26, 5:33 PM EST

I hope so! I love dresses. This is very important to me.
im sooo mad at willow!!!!!
~grrrr~

from a 719 phone number, Thursday, November 25, 12:00 AM EST

Honey, they stopped filming Buffy years ago. What’s done is done.
Ok so i like luke. Don’t judge me
Wats up!?

from a 513 phone number, Wednesday, November 24, 4:26 PM EST

hahahahahahaha LUKE?!? You must be a total LOSER!
I just got in the mail from JJill a $50.00 off if u spend $150 or more. Did u get one?
from a 916 phone number, Tuesday, November 23, 9:14 PM EST

916 has consistently shown herself to be really committed to J.Jill. I've never shopped there, but now I'm feeling like maybe I should?
I got Leila,s message last night about putting Riley in the Kennel. I guess that means yall want to come t Greer. We,ll be here so come on up. Love You
from an 864 phone number, Tuesday, November 23, 9:28 AM EST

That'd be Greer, South Carolina. Unclear why Leila wants to go there, but I hear it's one of South Carolina's fastest growing cities.
Hey im in north carolina
from a 302 phone number, Tuesday, November 23, 5:58 PM EST

Hey I’m in Kentucky. We are both south of the Mason-Dixon line! Let’s meet up!
been on the highway at speeds \leq walking. how’s your ride?
from a 269 phone number, Monday, November 22, 11:39 PM EST

If this is supposed to mean "speeds less than or equal to walking," then that's what my trip home for Thanksgiving was like, too!
lafleur don’t forget about alexis dr appointment call me when u can love u
from a 409 phone number, Tuesday, November 16, 9:05 AM EST

lafleur i can pick my files up from pomonis wed yee haaa
from a 409 phone number, Monday, November 22, 5:08 PM EST

Intended for this Leila. Alexis is Leila's daughter. I feel creepy how much I already know about this family.
Geiger hello sweet friend.got ur messages.soglad 2 hear from u.i miss u.have a happy t’giving & we’ll catch up soon.ly.
from a 336 phone number, Monday, November 22, 2:50 PM EST

Which Leila Geiger was this text intended for?
Do you want to go to church and then out to dinner? or, do you have other plans for tonight?
from a 515 phone number, Saturday, November 20, 12:57 PM EST

We plan to be home around 4:30. why don’t you do your shopping and be ready to go to church at that time.
from a 515 phone number, Saturday, November 20, 1:22 PM EST

I didn't know Saturday night was a popular time to go to church. What branch of Christianity is that?
FWD: no todavia no no te tienes que enojar yo no te dije que te fueras a la casa –esto m mando desir nadamas xq le dije q ya avia llegado a la casa
from a 915 phone number, Saturday, November 20, 4:13 AM EST

"Not still no no you have to anger yourself I did not say that you went to the house -this ontrol to desire nothing more xq I said to him already something arriving at the house."

I really, really need to work on my Spanish idioms.
B Guria esquecemos do remedio eita!!!
from a 774 phone number, Friday, November 19, 5:27 PM EST

Babelfish says, "B Guria we forget it eita remedy!!!" So, that sounds bad.
Erin made symphonic band and will be performing at Disneyland the weekend of May 13th
from a 702 phone number, Thursday, November 18, 6:22 PM EST

DISNEYLAND! I am so jealous of Erin right now. I knew I should have learned to play oboe or something.
FWD: Ok, thanks for letting me know. I’m putting Leila at 6:30 tonight on Addy for flat. Bring the rubber boots, it’s wet!
from a 404 phone number, Tuesday, November 16, 2:24 PM EST

"On Addy for flat"? Like Addie the American Girl doll, maybe?

Friday, November 26, 2010

HAPPY THANSKGIVING, BABY!
from an 850 phone number, Thursday, November 25, 8:03 AM EST

happy thanksgiving!!! love u
ginny

from a 970 phone number, Thursday, November 25, 9:52 AM EST

happy thanksgiving
from a 603 phone number, Thursday, November 25, 11:47 AM EST

Happy Turkey Day Stendsy! I love you and hope you have a great time with your family :)
from a 775 phone number, Thursday, November 25, 4:05 PM EST

And a happy Thanksgiving to all of you out there, too!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Are we doin trivia tonight at beachclub?
from a 412 phone number, Wednesday, November 17, 1:17 PM EST

Here's all the deets on Wednesday night trivia at the Beach Club, if you want to challenge Leila and 412: http://www.facebook.com/teamtriviaplus
Hi leila i miss you a lot i will call you soon lots of kisses lots of hugs elle says hi and gives lots of kisses and lots of hugs ron says hi
from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, November 16, 10:32 PM EST

You can tell that 703 and Elle are chicks, because they're both saying hi and sending Leila lots of kisses and hugs, whereas Ron is a MAN, and that's why he just says hi, no kisses or hugs. Men don't show their emotion like that. It makes them feel too vulnerable.
Hi r u in vegas... If so r u broke yet hahaha
from an 860 phone number, Tuesday, November 16, 7:45 PM EST

No, bitch, I am a master at the craps table. What, are you broke yet? Is your mom broke yet?
i need another check signed tomorrow. will u be around in the morning afterr i drop off the kids.
from a 530 phone number, Monday, November 15, 8:42 PM EST

What do you think I am, your personal ATM? Doesn't anyone even say PLEASE these days?
I JUST RbE MY BIKE PAST ZACH FUCKING GALLIFINAKIS
from a 310 phone number, Monday, November 15, 3:28 AM EST

Sometimes I get annoyed when I receive text messages at 3:30am, but this one is 100% legitimate.
Practice on Mon: 1st lunch-rm.200 2nd lunch-choir rm. After sch. Text me if you get this message.
from a 928 phone number, Sunday, November 14, 1:55 PM EST

Please remind Allen that I will see him first lunch in rm 200.
from a 928 phone number, Monday, November 15, 9:04 AM EST

What are we practicing, though? Are we practicing instruments, public speaking, or kissing?
Hey u up
@[[?$90N

from a 978 phone number, Sunday, November 14, 9:22 AM EST

Pretty sure this text is from a girl named Allison. Don't you think?
Doh, I'm a day late, but Happy Anniversary to you!
from a 757 phone number, Sunday, November 14, 6:07 PM EST

This seems somehow like an appropriate text for the 2,001st post in this blog.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

is my best friend heyyyy bella its leilaa ur my best frienddd everrrr and so is livvyy and thats probebly what i have a picture of
from a 401 phone number, Saturday, November 13, 8:53 AM EST

Believe it or not, this is my 2,000th posting to the Leila Texts blog. Honest to God.

I have spent nearly three and half years of my life transcribing misdirected text messages, and now I have a collection of 2,000 of them. This is a major milestone. I think we can safely say that no one else, ever, has compiled more text messages intended for strangers named Leila.

In the spirit of this moment in Leila Text history, I'm glad to be able to share this text message from 401. It is all about friendship, the true foundation for the Leila Texts. (Except for the ones that say, "Leila i hate u.")

If you have some spare time, take a look through the 2,000 archived posts. No two are exactly alike. (Text messages are like snowflakes, apparently.) And if you've run out of Leila Texts to read, you can always read my book. It's not about text messages, but you still might like it: http://www.amazon.com/Mostly-Good-Girls-Leila-Sales/dp/1442406798
phone Cant we just do the sleep over again another time
{NEVER SAY NEVER}

From a 615 phone number, Saturday, November 13, 10:19 AM EST

No, we can't. Obviously, when Leila said she "couldn't sleep over," 615 heard her saying "tonight." But what she really meant was "forever, because you snore."
You want to go to dinner with ben and vivian? ben just text me
from a 203 phone number, Saturday, November 13, 7:59 PM EST

Oh, Ben and Vivian are such a charming couple. We really ought to go on more double-dates with them. What a lark!
HEY WAZ UP AND UR DEAD!!!!
;) Maddy (;

from a 760 phone number, Saturday, November 13, 1:08 AM EST

The combination of the death threat and the smiley faces makes me suspect that Maddy is living out her own real-life version of American Psycho.
we are in pigeon forge. just past the clarion at light
from a 770 phone number, Friday, November 12, 5:46 PM EST

where are you
from a 770 phone number, Friday, November 12, 5:46 PM EST

This is not the first time 770 has been to Pigeon Forge. I still don't know why she keeps going there. Someone who seems to be affiliated with Pigeon Forge commented on the last Leila Text that mentioned it but somehow that didn't really clarify things for me.
Do you have a party lined up?
from a 443 phone number, Thursday, November 11, 8:32 PM EST

Dude, have you MET me? I'm almost offended that you'd even feel like you have to ask.
Moms being stobern and maen
from a 781 phone number, Wednesday, November 10, 4:27 PM EST

Somehow, with that spelling, this sounds way worse than if Mom were being just stubborn and mean.
Hey.i dont think we should go out anymore.we dont talk or hang out.srry can we still be friend.
from a 201 phone number, Tuesday, November 9, 5:11 PM EST

Goddamn I love this text. This is all of middle school summed up into 160 characters. Yes, 201. We can still be friend, provided that doesn't mean we have to start talking or hanging out.

By the way, if you're wondering whether I replied to this person so that he knows he effectively broke up with Leila: No. I did not.
I hate you >.<
from a 781 phone number, Tuesday, November 9, 3:39 PM EST

Being a Leila means having a community of constantly supportive friends.
i just got the e-mail confirming Ash's enrollment in PAA :-)
from a 619 phone number, Monday, November 8, 6:53 PM EST

I assume Ash has been enrolled in the Population Association of America. Or maybe in Polyacryclic Acid.
Happy, Happy Birthday to you. I hope you have a great day. Love you
from an 850 phone number, Monday, November 8, 7:45 AM EST

graham HAPPY birthday Leila! Greetngs from Virginia Beach! Love you!
from a 509 phone number, Wednesday, November 10, 10:47 PM EST

So whats up there Birthday Girl? Tmrrw is the BIG day huh? Another year older? LMBO its hell gettn old!!!
from a 602 phone number, Saturday, November 13, 6:40 PM EST

This has been a big week for birthdays. Thank you all for your kind wishes, but, alas, my birthday is actually in April.
U know that boy from jump n jamin. well i dreamed about him for some reason .promis me u can keep this a secret.
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, November 7, 12:46 PM EST

No, I'm sorry, I cannot promise I can keep this a secret.

I poked around the Jump n'Jammin website a bit, and I didn't immediately see any hot boys. But obviously they are out there.
Just got your message. just got home from my brothers. Lew and i stopped at the outlets. ask me if i bought a new red coach bag. Yes i did. Me bad.
from a 916 phone number, Saturday, November 6, 7:58 PM EST

You're right, 916. You ARE bad. I condemn you and your capitalist ways.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Teacher stands: r there any idiots in here if so plz stand (student stands) t: y do u think u r an idiot s: i dont i just dont want u standing by urself
from a 518 phone number, Tuesday, November 2, 3:11 PM EST

See, that's what an LOL text looks like. Live and learn, 225.
Have fun in Denver. text me when u get bored. Don't spend to much money at JJills.
from a 916 phone number, Sunday, October 31, 8:58 PM EST

Is it cold?
from a 916 phone number, Monday, November 1, 9:58 PM EST

Wake up and get to class!
from a 916 phone number, Tuesday, November 2, 9:15 AM EST

I don't honestly know that I've ever spent any money at J.Jill, let alone too much money.
Hope you guys had all the pizza you wanted. Casper ate it
from a 248 phone number, Saturday, October 30, 10:11 PM EST

God damn it, Casper, I was saving that for lunch tomorrow.
Hello,how are yu,and wuna dayte me,and are a nudyst,lyke I am,and what du yu phor a lyvyn'?And it's me,Alexis Hendrix-Buford
from a 719 phone number, Saturday, October 30, 3:08 PM EST

Um, apparently this is like a common text message? In all my years of Leila Texts, I have never seen anything quite like this. Good to know I can still be surprised, I guess.
Heey tell mom to answer her phoneee
from a 225 phone number, Saturday, October 30, 12:43 PM EST

I mean text bacck not answer lol
from a 225 phone number, Saturday, October 30, 12:43 PM EST

I guess I'm just not laughing out loud at the fact that 225 accidentally said "answer" instead of "text back." Maybe I don't have a good sense of humor or something, but it's just not doing it for me, as a stand-up routine.
Im gonna be so close to u love
from a 619 phone number, Friday, October 29, 8"03 PM EST

Ew.
P and s is on your email. I changed the last paragraph as discussed. Call me questions. Have a good weekend.
from a 617 phone number, Friday, October 29, 7:59 PM EST

"I didn't only add the 'P' part of your P.S. I also added the 'S' part. You're welcome."
Why?
~Forever & Always ~

from an 803 phone number, Friday, October 29, 5:59 PM EST

This is such a funny coincidence because my sig line, too, sounds like a misappropriation of a Donna Lewis song title.
Is Still Going To The BathroomWa leila is still gooing to the bathroom mommy is waiting for leilaa to finish.then she wioll change hr ommediately
from a 917 phone number, Friday, October 29, 1:23 PM EST

My name appears twice in this text message, but in neither instance do I understand why.
I love my child!
from an 850 phone number, Friday, October 29, 11:38 AM EST

It's unsolicited text messages like this that give the mommy community a bad rap.
did you see what your sister wrote on facebook i want to kill her i am so mad what is wrong with her1
from a 978 phone number, Thursday, October 28, 7:57 PM EST

Better question: 978, why should Leila be held responsible for her sister's facebook failings? Leila is not her sister's keeper!
Go to http:\\hcgdietinfo.com
from an 805 phone number, Thursday, October 28, 3:54 PM EST

According to this website: "hCG Dieters lose an average of 1 to 3 lbs per day while modifying their metabolism and eating habits for long term results." Think about this. Someone out there is losing three pounds EVERY DAY. And that someone could be Leila! Does that seem weird at all?
She could have said hello, and it was and ipod lol
from an 860 phone number, Wednesday, October 27, 10:26 PM EST

Those were words, but, taken as a whole, they seem to have lost their meaning.
where canu get contacts...i want them so i can scare mah 3 yr old cuz...
DJ

from a 254 phone number, Tuesday, October 26, 9"55 PM EST

That's a lot of planning to put into scaring a three-year-old, which, in my experience, is not all that hard to do. I assume 254 is looking for creepy contact lenses. You can be way older than three and still be terrified by those.
Hi aj broke up wit austin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from a 919 phone number, Tuesday, October 26, 3:30 PM EST

No freakin way!!!!!!! You mean Austin is single now? Get in there, Leila!
Which waffle house is it on millegde? theres two
from a 770 phone number, Tuesday, October 26, 2:01 PM EST

This appears to be in Athens, Georgia. That is an uncanny number of waffle houses for one street to boast.
Come business casual and drive safely
from a 312 phone number, Tuesday, October 26, 8:32 AM EST

Those two rules can take you far in life.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

R u going to c justin?
Prema

from a 740 phone number, Sunday, October 24, 7:17 PM EST

Guys! It's Prema! She's BACK! It's been more than four months since we last heard from Prema. We were all missing her, I know.

This text message doesn't quite fill us in on where Prema's been since June. But, hey, it's a start.
Tell mom that i am mad i waited a longtime 2 c that movie
from a 313 phone number, Sunday, October 24, 6:47 PM EST

No way am I telling Mom that. You know she always shoots the messenger. If you're mad, then you take it up with the lady of the house.
Gud job at da game
from an 817 phone number, Friday, October 22, 7:12 PM EST

It's true, I scored a touchdown. Or whatever sport Leila plays.
hey wat up r u at karens house already
from a 323 phone number, Friday, October 22, 5:51 PM EST

In other news, 323 continues to allow Leila no privacy.
He 4got yu! Hahahahahahaha fukkin hillarious!
from a 623 phone number, Friday, October 22, 2:25 PM EST

Who yu texting? Not me?
from a 623 phone number, Friday, October 22, 6:34 PM EST

Isat MaryBeth!? If anyone questions yu... Yu have no idea! Got it!?
from a 623 phone number, Friday, October 22, 6:56 PM EST

Cant stop thinkin about Devon wanting to fuck my womon! Im not usually the jealous type. WTF!?
from a 623 phone number, Saturday, October 23, 11:57 AM EST

Now that he's suggested it, I, too, can't stop thinking about Devon wanting to fuck 623's womon.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Hv doggies bn out? what r yr plans?
from a 740 phone number, Wednesday, October 20, 4:35 PM EST

Nah, they're just peeing all over the floor.
Hey...nick ok? corey told me what happened
from a 631 phone number, Tuesday, October 19, 9:01 PM EST

Anything could have happened to Nick. Literally an.y.thing. Option:

Nick fell off his skateboard.
Nick got broken up with.
Nick lost his favorite stuffed animal.
Nick sliced his hand while cutting bagels.

ANYTHING.
Why do u hate her
from a 925 phone number, Tuesday, October 19, 6:24 PM EST

Hate whom? Hate whom??? TELL ME. I am a great secret-keeper!
butt butt butt
from a 951 phone number, Monday, October 18, 8:40 PM EST

Never let your five-year-old son get a hold of your cell phone.
well on my progress report he put my average is under a 55 when i been doin my work and have least a 85!
("|Vi?S??it|")

from a 315 phone number, Saturday, October 16, 4:19 PM EST

There's a mega-big difference between 55 and 85. One is failing, one is not. Is Leila failing? Or not?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Could u send me another adorable pic?
from a 406 phone number, Sunday, October 3, 12:04 AM EST

What am I, your own personal cuteoverload.com?
Ahahahahhah chris wants u to txt himn back rebecca sabrina=legitamit twins
from a 201 phone number, Friday, October 15, 9:48 PM EST

Either Rebecca and Sabrina were separated at birth and only now reunited, or they both showed up to the same party wearing black tube tops.
r u coming to open house
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, September 30, 9:01 PM EST

jaxon says u suck not me
from a 323 phone number, Friday, October 1, 6:21 PM EST

y weren’t u at school today
from a 323 phone number, Friday, October 8, 6:55 PM EST

u r leaving right now your uncles here
from a 323 phone number, Thursday, October 14, 6:27 PM EST

wat r u doin r right now
from a 323 phone number, Friday, October 15, 8:54 PM EST

323 keeps inquiring into Leila's whereabouts, and, after more than two weeks, it's starting to get annoying.
triki wanted to know what time we starting dinner and what to bring. i told him 4:00 and to bring a ready to eat apple pie
from a 301 phone number, Friday, October 15, 5:40 AM EST

Mmm I absolutely love autumn dinner parties.
Hey, Beeyotch, did you know Carla is coming to NYC in May? Road Trip with a BRIT baby! You in?
from a 512 phone number, Thursday, October 14, 5:29 PM EST

I don't know, will we have to drive on the wrong side of the road?
i discovered your leila text blog when i was googling my sister named leila. what is even funnier is i found a recent text written from my stepmom
from a 908 phone number, Wednesday, October 13, 8:40 PM EST

Obviously this is not a Leila Text in the technical sense, since it's not a misdirected text message. It reached me just fine. Nonetheless, I'm sharing it here, because this is so cool! I love when this happens. And then people can finally explain to us what their texts mean! Like 908 told me that this one was about booking motel rooms for his sister Leila's wedding. So now we know! I also love that 908 got in touch with me via text message. That brings it all full-circle.
Family,
who fed zorro?
christian's lunch box is here?
oxm

from a 978 phone number, Wednesday, October 13, 10:01 AM EST

I assume Zorro is a dog, and the parent of this household is asking who fed him. And also, who fed Christian, since his lunch box is here. (Christian is presumably not a dog, though I guess he could be.)
Ur a brat
from a 717 phone number, Tuesday, October 2, 8:28 AM EST

Nuh-uh. I rock!
Cool.ily.ily.
from a 201 phone number, Sunday, October 10, 5:01 PM EST

I love you. I love you. It's abbrevs, guys. get with the program.
Wuz up Bama Girl!!!
from a 205 phone number, Friday, October 8. 4:23 PM EST

It's always weird but I guess kinda cool to receive Leila Texts from Michelle Obama.
I told jen i would see if we had blue leggings, we do. If i wait for the sale next week they may be gone, with my discount they would be 43 dollars.
from a 614 phone number, Wednesday, October 6, 1:37 PM EST

I cannot conceive of a store where leggings cost $43 with an employee discount. That means they probably retail for like $90. I love leggings, but honestly. What store do we think 614 works for?
Due date May 2. She is 9 weeks now. We have a pic and heard the heart beat.
from an 865 phone number, Wednesday, October 6, 1:18 PM EST

Not to be as superstitious as I am, but aren't you not supposed to tell people (including the entire internet) until the second trimester?
holy shit girl, it is ur birthday? what does that make u? 37? u kno, u only get sexier with age ! lub u!
from a 970 phone number, Tuesday, October 5, 9:36 PM EST

This is the first time in my life anyone has ever told me, even inadvertently, that I "only get sexier with age." Thanks, Leila Texters.
Hey its allyx
I <3 Acusc Gutr

from an 805 phone number, Tuesday, October 5, 7:36 PM EST

I also heart acoustic guitars, I guess. Though not as much as I heart acoustic xylophones.
Oh and i saw u yesterday at nite goin to laurens house with Kelsey i tried waving…i was in the carrr!! coming out of the garage u dint evn c meee! lol
from an 818 phone number, Monday, October 4, 9:29 PM EST

Hey so can we go hikin lyk u kelsey n me or something since lauren n nina rnt allowed they sed
from an 818 phone number, Thursday, October 7, 6:51 PM EST

I am growing to feel like a regular member of this clique. I want to hear more of their adventures!
wats the big deal bout Madison
whats so great bout her
;) Maddy (;

from a 760 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 5:32 PM EST

Maddy is demonstrating a surprising amount of self-awareness.
ash is in a splint and sling, possible stress fracture or bone bruise. she has to go in for a re-xray on thurs. she is out of gymnastics for at least
from a 619 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 6:55 PM EST

Poor Ash. There goes her dreams of Olympic glory. This is like an episode of Make It Or Break It in text-message format.
Are you cheering?
from a 607 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 2:06 PM EST

I'm sexy! I'm cute! I'm popular to boot! I'm bitchin'! Great hair! The boys all love to stare!
”Every morn in Africa a gazelle wakes up, He knows he must outrun the fastest lion or he will be killed…….
from a 571 phone number, Wednesday, September 29, 7:59 AM EST

I find this strangely inspiring. Or depressing.
philipp
a cheese stick ate me!

from a 917 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 7:26 PM EST

In Soviet Russia…

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hello to a couple of strangers that is out on sick. I wouldn’t want to grt you into trouble on office time…just thinking about the two of you… Mar
from a 607 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 10:19 PM EST

Leila has a secret office romance. Mar is their only coworker who knows about it. Leila and her secret bf called out “sick” so they could spend a romantic day together. Because your boss will never suspect anything when you’re both sick on the same day! Not unless Mar opens her big mouth, that is…
HAM!!!!!!
from a 951 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 4:47 PM EST

Ham is the new bacon, apparently.
oct 16….yard sale
from an 864 phone number, Saturday, October 2, 1:55 PM EST

That’s this weekend, folks! Go! Buy!
Inimail nan tay papers ni charmain?
from a 415 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 7:29 PM EST

Is this also Taglog? 415 wants Leila to do something involving Charmain toilet paper. (Charmain is the same in all languages.)
Hey want 2 do hw together
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, September 7, 12:26 PM EST

Hey the math due tomorrow is that algebra review and to take notes right?
from an 860 phone number, Monday, September 13, 5:41 PM EST

quick ? on 2.19c for the hmwk?
from a 402 phone number, Monday, September 20, 10:39 PM EST

There was a time when I didn't receive texts like these. That time was August. Summer's over, kids, and there's no clearer sign than the sudden proliferation of homework-themed text messages.
Stacey aint going now and joni is.... Crazy shit going on this week!
from a 706 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 11:54 AM EST

CRAZY SHIT. Stacey aint going. Joni is going. It's nearly impossible to wrap your mind around.
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY
from a 214 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 1:07 AM EST

Leila spent most of the day smoking cigarettes and running from strip club to strip club. As birthdays go, she'd had worse.
Just arrived in Boston catch up with u later so far great trip
from a 714 phone number, Monday, September 27, 9:45 AM EST

Massive coincidence: I am also going to Boston! I'm doing a book reading and signing at the Burlington Barnes & Noble on Saturday. Details here, if you want to come: http://store-locator.barnesandnoble.com/event/68564.
Hey leila u rock
from a 949 phone number, Saturday, September 25, 10:52 PM EST

Yeah! Take that, texter who hates Leila!
Should i order a sandwich for you and Chelsea?
from a 248 phone number, Saturday, September 25, 5:41 PM EST

This text message confused me a great deal because the protagonist in the book that I'm writing is also named Chelsea. So when I got this text, I was like, "No, Chelsea doesn't need a sandwich because she just ate dinner.... I mean, Chelsea doesn't need a sandwich because she is a figment of my imagination."
hey leila i put UN down on my resume with your number and said i had been working for a little over a year doing staging and art direction
from a 619 phone number, Friday, September 24, 11:15 AM EST

So let me see if I've got this straight: If Leila's potential future employer calls me to check out her references, I am supposed to tell him that I am a supervisor at the United Nations, for which Leila had been doing staging and art direction for a little over a year?

Okay. I can do it. I'm not sure it will "sound believable," but I'll do it.
did i sound like a knucklehead? antibiotics, nyquil, perkadin (for my knee?)
from a 248 phone number, Tuesday, September 21, 10:17 PM EST

Yeah, bro, you sounded high our of your mind. We videotaped you talking and put it up on YouTube. It's gonna be the "David After Dentist" of 2010.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Fwd:Fwd:FWD: FWD: - Fwd: - Fwd: 2mrrow someone will say"WANNA GO OUT?" or "I LOVE YOU!" or "IM SORRY BABE. SEND TO 10 PEOPLE OR BAD LUCK
~RaWr~

from an 812 phone number, Wednesday, September 15, 9:36 PM EST

2mrrow someone will also say "Do you need a bag for that?" or "What time is it?" or "Excuse me."

Just to cover all our bases here.
This is jillene if u off today cum get kinky*TRADING PLACES
from a 334 phone number, Wednesday, September 15, 2:55 PM EST

I looked up "trading places" on urbandictionary to see if it referred to some kinky sex act. In case you were wondering: It doesn't.
Hey its jake dont scream this aloud do u know who i like
?HOLA!

from a 937 phone number, Monday, September 13, 3:45 PM EST

Hey do u know who i like
?HOLA!

from a 937 phone number, Monday, September 13, 3:50 PM EST

Jake, you may find this hard to believe, but the reason why I'm not texting you back is because I don't CARE who you like. Honestly. I don't.
MAGKANO PALIT DOL?
from a 415 phone number, Sunday, September 12, 9:56 PM EST

WHAT?
Hey girl if youre still interested in rugby practice is this thursday 7-9
from a 321 phone number, Wednesday, September 8, 3:26 PM EST

It heartens me to know that some Leilas out there have athletic abilities. Not me. But some of them.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Im at cold stone
from a 775 phone number, Sunday, September 26, 7:28 PM EST

And I am so jealous!
Who put the dogs on ur prch
from a 270 phone number, Friday, September 24, 9:55 PM EST

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8
did u have a good day?
from a 425 phone number, Thursday, September 23, 10:08 PM EST

r u alive. u never ans my text last evening?
from a 425 phone number, Friday, September 24, 12:44 PM EST

If my friends concluded that I was dead every time I didn't answer one of their texts, then they would assume I was dead on most days. Maybe Leila was just busy, okay, 425?!? Or maybe she just didn't get your text at all. Stop being so overprotective, jeez.
Leila, in your professional opinion, hlow long do drugs like marijuana and lsd take to clear the system for a urine test? Do diet and exercise help?
from a 218 phone number, Thursday, September 23, 10:59 PM EST

Sometimes the Leila Texts require that I provide information that, unfortunately, I just don't have at my fingertips. My guess here would be that marijuana and LSD clear the system at different rates, and that both take a few weeks to make you clean for a urine test, and that diet and exercise may help, but not significantly. In short, I would guess that 218 is screwed for whatever drug screening she has to take.

But I open this up to you, dear readers. In your professional opinion, how long would this take?

Hypothetically, of course.
Olivia
Oliviaim goin early to sign up for drama with lauren
Olivia

from an 813 phone number, Tuesday, September 21, 6:23 PM EST

bring 15 $ do drama with me we can sign up in the morning with lauren lange
Olivia

from an 813 phone number, Wednesday, September 22, 6:12 AM EST

or do debate
Olivia

from an 813 phone number, Wednesday, September 22, 6:37 AM EST

Olivia reminds me of myself in high school. I loved to join clubs. Including drama AND debate. Olivia, if your intended Leila idn't interested, I'll bring $15 and go with you!
Cuz of mah mom
VossBotlsROsm

from a 408 phone number, Monday, September 6, 3:15 PM EST

Uuuuuugh my mom said we cant go!
from a 408 phone number, Monday, September 6, 4:44 PM EST

Hi do u no sanjs phone number
VossBotlsROsm

from a 408 phone number, Tuesday, September 7, 10:19 PM EST

Ery do u hav a tank top i can use im sooo sry
VossBotlsROsm

from a 408 phone number, Wednesday, September 8, 10:40 AM EST

Wanna go to sb tomoro
VossBotlsROsm

from a 408 phone number, Wednesday, September 15, 1:12 AM EST

Hi leila its nicky
VossBotlsROsm

from a 408 phone number, Thursday, September 16, 11:10 AM EST

Do u wanna do sumthin tomoro afta skoo wit me n katie
VossBotlsROsm

from a 408 phone number, Thursday, September 16, 10:39 PM EST

So Nicky and I have been one-sided penpals for weeks now, yet I still have absolutely no idea what she's talking about, or, more importantly, what her sig line means.
Thats not what a us boy does
from a 216 phone number, Monday, September 6, 11:33 AM EST

Really? What does a U.S. boy do, then? Watch baseball and drink a Budweiser, maybe? Does he drive a Ford and look at the Grand Canyon while wearing Converse?
Leeeeeiiiillllllaaa what did gabs tell u
from a 406 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 11:25 PM EST

LEILAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
from a 406 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 11:29 PM EST

L-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-leilas
from a 406 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 11:42 PM EST

Leila la la la la la la la la la leila
from a 406 phone number, Tuesday, September 28, 11:49 PM EST

If you've never had this experience: It's kind of unnerving when a complete stranger keeps shouting your name over text message.
That cool
from a 313 phone number, Sunday, October 3, 10:54 AM EST

I love my new phone
from a 313 phone number, Sunday, October 3, 10:57 AM EST

So what do want to talk about
from a 313 phone number, Sunday, October 3, 10:57 AM EST

This is weaird
from a 313 phone number, Sunday, October 3, 10:59 AM EST

Sometimes adults are shocked by how many text messages teenagers send in the course of a month. I don't know why. If they can average four texts in five minutes, then 10,000 in one month should not be such a stretch.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ako ur dad im proud of having a big family that can understand me only sabeth who can not i love ur mam. Thou she dont love me.
from a 415 phone number, Saturday, September 11, 4:12 PM EST

Could there be a sadder statement? “I love your mom. Though she don’t love me.” What could be worse than urequited love (with Leila’s mother)?
Sorry for drunk texting not sure why i was angry last night. Have a great saturday!
from an 843 phone number, Saturday, September 11, 6:21 AM EST

I wish I’d gotten the angry, drunk text. That’s a little more fun than the sober apology.
Hey leila to let u know i hate u
from a 516 phone number, Friday, September 10, 11:56 PM EST

What a bitch.
Leila i gotta tell you something i like you alott and i no u don’t like me and i no some person is making up stuff but i no were good friends an i want to
be

from a 256 phone number, Sunday, September 19, 12:08 AM EST

I wonder what lies some person is making up to convince Leila that 256 doesn’t actually like her. I wish I could get some of those text messages.
Haha that slice of pizza made me lose one pound. Good thing i ate it
from a 440 phone number, Saturday, September 18, 10:30 PM EST

I don’t know how a slice of pizza could make you LOSE weight. Nor do I want to know. At all.
All my shit is goin in front yard
from a 219 phone number, Thursday, September 16, 8:23 AM EST

And so begin 219’s concerted efforts to become as white trash as possible.
i forgot we leave friday after work to go to pigeon forge. johnny just reminded me. can we go wed?
from a 770 phone number, Sunday, September 19, 6:58 PM EST

Pigeon Forge: like Valley Forge, only for pigeons.
Hey my mom wanted to get some party light things so she wanted to know if she could get your moms number
from a 360 phone number, Saturday, September 18, 12:29 PM EST

Why would anyone ever want to party light? I want to party hard!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Merci, han hoet au tanze, hoffe blamiere mi ned… ond du hesch aues parat foerd schuel?
from a 651 phone number, Tuesday, September 7, 3:26 PM EST

I am stymied. This isn't French, other than the "merci." A few words in here are German, but not that many. None of it is Portuguese. What IS this?

In case you ever wondered what it means to be the recipient of the Leila Texts, it basically means that I spend a lot of my life on Babelfish.
Leila its Cassidy go on youtube and type in tails of adventure slideshow. i think youll like it!
from an 865 phone number, Monday, September 6, 5:19 PM EST

Here is what you find when you type in "tails of adventure slideshow." It is more or less exactly what I would be doing right now, if I were 12 years old.
hey girl wtf
from a 770 phone number, Monday, September 6, 4:10 PM EST

This calls to mind a classic text message invented many years ago by me and my best friend Allie. Some boy had acted toward me in a way that was totally baffling, and we determined that I should send him a text that said, simply, "wtf i hate you." I never did it, but only because I was scared, not because he didn't deserve it. I'm glad to see someone out there (770) has the balls to say what I never could. Sort of.
Boys suck. they dont listen or care. jeff is out of town weekend of 17th of sept i will be by myself.
from an 843 phone number, Friday, September 10, 9:14 PM EST

Boys do suck, that is true. But going out of town for a week is not the primary reason why.
R u still celebrating yer holiday?
MICHAELA :)

from a 260 phone number, Friday, September 10, 4:42 PM EST

Yes. Michaela, it is sundown to sundown. 4:42 PM does not sundown make. This is true of all Jewish holidays, so best to just learn it now.
Is it Monday night?
from a 301 phone number, Friday, September 10, 11:32 AM EST

I know, like, will this weekend never end?
Guess what i m part i m in the nutcracker
from an 850 phone number, Thursday, September 9, 5:55 PM EST

Clara! I hope Clara.
What services r u going 2
from a 216 phone number, Wednesday, September 8, 3:09 PM EST

Oh, yes: Shana Tova!
I FIND IN RM A VERY SM PAPER SAYS LETYOURMANNERS SPEAK YOURDEEDS PROVE AND YOUR DELIVERY IMPRESS FUGINOKO GONE WILLBETHOUGHTFUL RESPECT
I T A L Y

from an 808 phone number, Wednesday, September 8, 2:36 AM EST

Totally.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

meet me at the mall at 5?
from an 802 phone number, Wednesday, September 1, 11:15 AM EST

Remember when the mall used to be a super-cool place and you were always arranging to meet your friends there? That was a great social scene.
Hi dear i called afsaneh twice there was no answer i left message each time do you think i cal her again?
from a 409 phone number, Wednesday, September 1, 6:19 PM EST

No, I think you can text or email her, but I think at this point you've done the phone thing to death. Some people just don't check voicemail. Afsaneh may be one of them.
Just found a rotten chicken sandwich in my loader pew nasty
from a 757 phone number, Thursday, September 2, 9:11 AM EST

I have to wonder what 757's relationship is to Leila that she felt compelled to share this with her. Maybe Leila is really interested in rotten food?
We r planning a cookout at shelleys house on saturday.
from a 727 phone number, Friday, September 3, 8:16 AM EST

Wooooo happy Labor Day weekend!
i hate leila
from a 770 phone number, Friday, September 3, 6:19 PM EST

Oh yeah? Well I hate YOU.
Send me a picture of him please
from a 203 phone number, Saturday, September 4, 8:57 AM EST

Yeah. Pics or it didn't happen.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

today is my sister, Mari's birthday. Wats kraka-lackn
from a 302 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 7:26 AM EST

As you are likely aware if you read this blog a lot, I hate it when people text Leilas to say simply "whats up." I guess it's a little better when they throw in some spice and say "Wats kraka-lackn." A LITTLE better.
Maman joon i am testing my new fon tell me if u got my mssge
from a 310 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 1:17 PM EST

Considering the number of misspellings in this text, I guess it's most likely that 310 is trying to say "Mama and Joon." But what I prefer to believe is that 310 is French, and he calls his mother maman. Is that so much to hope for?
poop! yay!
from a 610 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 7:13 PM EST

The Leila Texts started going downhill around the same time that they started giving cell phones to five year olds.
wAht
I am awsome

from a 978 phone number, Tuesday, August 31, 9:14 PM EST

No false modesty here, folks!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I got mr herbeck
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, August 25, 12: 44 PM EST

I hear he's a perv.
Wear swim wear 11~1
from a 706 phone number, Thursday, August 26, 9:39 PM EST

Only 11 to 1? Why? Wear swim wear ALL THE TIME! It's the summer, god damn it!
Hi Leila u don't have to take the dog out because Rich Chapman will do it. Thanks anyway
from a 203 phone number, Saturday, August 21, 12:47 PM EST

Hi we r in Nyc at Nintendo World. Is there anything special we should be
looking for

from a 203 phone number, Friday, August 27, 2:28 PM EST

I have never been to Nintendo World. Is it awesome?
i would wait to see how he is doing inbam he was drinking a milk shake and watching tv when we spoke
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, August 25, 11:21 PM EST

The idea of drinking a milkshake and watching TV sounds fucking phenomenal to me. "Wait to see how he is doing"-- well how do you THINK he is doing? He's DRINKING A MILKSHAKE!
what you call me doesnt matter.
from an 828 phone number, Wednesday, August 25, 10:57 PM EST

Right. 'Cause a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That's what 828 is getting at.
liver enzymes elevated alot of leu and mono told mom not to fill clindamycin
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, August 25, 10:37 PM EST

alot of lymphs and mono with increase liver enzymes told mom not to start clindamycin looked very much like mono
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, August 25, 10:43 PM EST

A lot of texts about infections this week. I am sensing a trend.
i WAS REEDIN
from a 978 phone number, Wednesday, August 25, 4:03 PM EST

Yes, and I bet that has done an awful lot for your literacy, hasn't it?
FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Tomorrow 2 boys will say "hey can I have your # ?" or "do you have a bf?" Send to nine girls or the bad luck starts now.
from an 801 phone number, Monday, August 23, 10:55 PM EST

It seems like the teenage boys of America were kept very busy asking for girls' numbers on Tuesday, August 24.
I just saw taylor lautner on tv at the mets game
from a 201 phone number, Sunday, August 22, 3:51 PM EST

Seeing Taylor Lautner on TV is okay, but it's not as impressive as seeing him in person, now, is it?
thanks 4 coming by 2day it has been a long tough week but friends like u make it better
from an 850 phone number, Saturday, August 21, 7:03 PM EST

Awww.