Saturday, November 8, 2008

carlson have you evered added a banana to brownie mix and if so did you like it?

from an 865 phone number, Saturday, November 8, 10:18 PM

This sounds like an amazing recipe. I don't use brownie mixes, but maybe I should add a banana to my batter the next time I bake brownies? Have any of you readers ever tried this? What did you think? Maybe I should turn TheLeilaTexts into a recipe blog inseatd of a text message blog.
So where are you packing day give me a call when you can
from a 510 phone number, Saturday, November 8, 2:45 PM

I have no witty commentary because I do not understand this text. If 510 meant to ask "Where are you packing today," then wouldn't the answer just be, "I'm packing at the place where all my stuff is"? Maybe I'm not a good enough free-association thinker.
I talked to mom this am. Said her hemoglobin was low. might have to transfus. Is she okay? Did the?
from a 602 phone number, Friday, November 7, 6:29 PM

From this woman again. Our thoughts continue to go out to you and your mother. My thoughts also wonder is predictive texting knows the word "hemoglobin." I wish there were a way to upload a medical dictionary to my Samsung.
We need to talk tonight
from a 703 phone number, Friday, November 7, 11:24 AM

Context is everything. This could be "We need to talk tonight-- I haven't heard from you in DAYS, and gosh we have so much to catch up on! omg!" Or it would be, "We need to talk tonight: our relationship is a farce." Or, "We need to talk tonight, very seriously, about your grades-- young lady, you are grounded." Context. Is. Everything.
from a 469 phone number, Thursday, November 6, 7:15 PM

I would bet good money this was sent in response to the question "What movie theater are we going to tonight?" Not a LOT of good money, what with this economy and all. But definitely something.
We can go grocery shopping today at like 8 if u want. i am going to walgreens for drugs.
from a 908 phone number, Thursday, November 6, 5:10 PM

I'm not entirely cleat what the second sentence means for the first one (like, we can go grocery shopping, but we won't need to buy drugs at the grocery store, since I will already have bought them at Walgreens?). I guess it doesn't really matter.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Fwd: Your TRUE love or Ex will realize how much they want you & something good will happen at 9:45 tonight if you send 2 ten ppl! <3
from an 815 phone number, Wednesday, November 5, 9:57 PM

Um. I received this at least 12 minutes too late. It's too bad; it's always nice when good things happen.

Also: I'd rather my TRUE love realizes how much he wants me, rather than my Ex. That just seems like it would be far more useful. I mean, an Ex wanting you is gratifying, but not really s life-altering as finding TRUE love, am I right? Am I being a silly romantic about this?
just talked to mom. sounds good. people were there giving her pills & dinner, soft boiled egg and yogurt. said all surprised at how well she did. so glad!
from a 602 phone number, Wednesday, November 5, 7:14 PM

It's tough when your mother goes through surgery, particularly when you're not there with her. But at least 602 has his/her sister Leila to share this with, and to provide moral support. (At least, 602 would have Leila's moral support, if Leila ever saw this text message.)
from a 516 phone number, Wednesday, November 5, 8:49 PM

This text, meanwhile, raises no such uncertainties. Definitely racist. Seriously, people? Some of you do not deserve to own cell phones. 516 is New York state, proving that there are idiots everywhere.
FWD: FWD: Early voting has Obama in the lead but that will change when white people get out of work.
from a 724 phone number, Tuesday, November 4, 4:42 PM

It's not clear to me whether 724 thought this was a GOOD thing or a BAD thing. Was he exhorting Leila to go out and vote for Obama because, while it seemed like he was winning at the tim, he would not be able to keep that lead for much longer? Or was 724 telling Leila not to worry; while it seemed like Obama was ahead, really, he would start to lose soon and it would all be okay? I'm inclined to think the latter, just because the phrase "when white people get out of work" might imply that 724 thinks black people don't work, they just sit around watching TV and voting all day. I don't know. Is this text racist or not?
kako je
from a 440 phone number, Monday, November 3, 9:52 PM

Potentially related to this, which is in incredibly fucked-up youtube video that appears to be in Polish but could equally well be in some other language entirely. You should watch this video, but I warn you that it contains no context clues about what "kako je" is.
from a 503 phone number, Monday, November 3, 7:07 PM

from a 612 phone number, Wednesday, November 5, 8:23 PM

We are very into one-word texts this week.
the 9th period magiger was suckifull. dont you agree. theonly good thing about it is that i sit next to molly and hayly is near by. wat are you doing
from a 914 phone number, Monday, November 3, 5:15 PM

Whoa, I have two friends who are roommates who are named Molly and Hallie. Coincidence? DOUBT IT.

Also, I don't know what a magiger is, but I love th word "suckifull" as of right now.
I just want to say I wuv u!
from a 704 phone number, Monday, November 3, 7:52 AM

Saying the "L" word is hard. Fortunately, the "W" word is an easy out.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

from a 704 phone number, Tuesday, November 4, 8:17 AM

Seriously, guys. 704 knows what's up. Do it.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Tell kiki that the football sheets r on the dresser an so is the money K!@nn@...get it straight!!!
from a 706 phone number, Sunday, November 2, 11:32 AM

I feel like this would be a good opportunity for me to steal some money and some football sheets (assuming I wanted both those things). I already know they're on the dresser, so once I figure out what house, city, and state this dresser is in, I should be IN THE MONEY.
FWD: Dear God, The lady reading this is beautiful and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Send to ten females u love. Even Me

from an 818 phone number, Sunday, November 2, 1:50 AM

Dear God, not this text forward again! I do find it interesting how the wording changes slightly the different times that I received it. I wonder who decided to write "u" this time around. I wonder who decided to spell "females" properly. I'd like to track forwards as they make their rounds to see how they evolve. That is, I'd like that if I didn't have anything else to do.
hey leila whats up ashley and bianka slept over and neither are awake yet
from a 602 phone number, Saturday, November 1, 12:05 PM

I envy Ashley and Bianka. I was awake at 12:05 PM yesterday... but I seriously wish I hadn't been.

Man I love sleeping. More than Ashley and Bianka COMBINED, I bet.
Heyyy how much candy did u get this year
from a 516 phone number, Saturday, November 1, 8:55 AM

Surprisingly the only Halloween-related text I received this year. Well, the only Halloween-related Leila Text. I also got one from my roommate, but she was actually trying to reach me, so it doesn't count.
you smell
from a 763 phone number, Friday, October 31, 4:16 PM

I love when eight-year-old boys try to flirt with me.
Hey were meeting at 830. Now sure where yet. Any ideas?
from a 734 phone number, Thursday, October 30, 6:06 PM

Well nobody is answering me so i dunno whats goin on
from a 734 phone umber, Thursday, October 30, 7:11 PM

Who bought the t bell? my drunkass forgot to give anyone money
from a 734 phone number, Saturday, November 1, 12:18 PM

Well, I guess managed to meet up with her friends eventually-- even though none of them were answering her (because none of her texts were reaching them). I mean, she must have met up with them for long enough to be drunk and do something with a t bell (?) without paying anyone for it. Sounds like a successful night out.
For bloody serious, I don't understand the pro prop 8 wankers. It isn't going to effect you. Vote no, you arses. I would if I could vote. Fucking yanks.
from a 650 phone number, Wednesday, October 29, 3:10 AM

Well put, 650. And don't worry, we fucking yanks have the same response to congestion charging.

Actually, just kidding, no, we don't. We don't pay attention to other countries' domestic policies.

Anyway, allow me to use this text as a jumping-off point to remind you all to VOTE on Tuesday. I'm sure you've been inundated with reminders, but this time I, personally, am cajoling you. It matters to me, the default Verizon Leila. Don't let me down.