Saturday, January 5, 2008

To seneca make a right on 206 at the diner...and your first left on carranza
from a 609 phone number, Saturday, January 5, 9:34 AM

This text offers further proof that this 609 lady is not in high school:

1. High schoolers are shit at giving directions; or, at least, I was, when I was in high school. I was always like, "Just drive until you come to that place, then go right... well, not really right, but sort of veer right?... and then you'll see it on the left. Or maybe on the right. It's either the first or second green house." Using street names and highway numbers is behavior peculiar to adults.

2. High schoolers do not send text messages at 9:34 AM on a Saturday.

Case closed.

OH BUT WAIT-- I just googled "seneca" and "carranza." Turns out Seneca HIGH SCHOOL is on Carranza Rd. in Tabernacle, NJ. So is 609 a high school student, after all? Or is she the parent of a high school student?

Lesson of the day: The case is never closed. Not when it comes to the Leila Texts.
Sorry I've taken such a long hiatus from this blog. I went away on vacation for a while, and then I had to get my phone replaced (for reasons unconnected to text messages), but now I'm back! So let's kick off the new year with a bang:

Amy johnson is now a vet at new bolton who will be specializing in neurology. Spoke to her today
from a 609 phone number, Thursday, January 3, 2:36 PM

Aside from the obvious explanation, which is that this message is code for something (like where "vet" = drug dealer and "neurology" = crystal meth), let's imagine why 609 is passing along such detailed information for Leila. Maybe Amy Johnson went to Leila's high school, but they've fallen out of touch in the years since, so 609 has tracked Amy down for Leila. You can tell 609 and Leila, unlike so many of the Leila Texters, are not still in high school because they use words like "specializing" and "neurology" in their text messages, as opposed to words like "hot" and "bitch."