Saturday, August 13, 2011

from a 541 phone number, Tuesday, July 26, 10:18 PM EST

I have only been "fishing" one time. I was 12 or 13 years old, and my friend Tiffany and I stood on a dock, where there may or may not have been fish. We never found that out because, before we could cast into the water, Tiffany got the hooks caught on her bathing suit. So then we had to walk home and get my mom to cut Tiffany out of her bathing suit.

Were we at the lake? Yes. Were there no fish? Possibly. Was it fun anyway? No.
can you get me bagels?
from an 859 phone number, Tuesday, July 26, 5:51 PM EST

I agree. One garlic with lox spread, please, for me?
We r goin to magic moutain on thursday yay
from a 323 phone number, Tuesday, July 26, 1:42 PM EST

So jealz.
Hey there little mama to be how are you doing i was watching a show about brides choosing dresses and i thot how beautiful you looked almost 3 years ago
from an 805 phone number, Friday, July 22, 7:27 PM EST

This is a super-expository text message. A lot of information is revealed to the reader. Leila got married close to three years ago. Now she is pregnant. We know a lot about this Leila's major life milestones.
I went to see the calabrese sisters music camp held at KMM. 27 little girls twisting and singing away. Ah the memories.
from a 610 phone number, Friday, July 22, 1:07 PM EST

The Calabrese Sisters are a band. I suppose they run a music camp for little girls. I wish I could go. I can't sing, but o my good days I can twist, and my God I love summer camp more than anything.
FWD: Hey...did carter txt u off my moms fone...and bitched u out???
from a 701 phone number, Wednesday, July 20, 10:17 PM EST

Modernity has rendered prank calls obsolete. There is too much caller ID. The only way really to mess with someone, these days, is with a prank text message. Carter is a little brat. but at least he understands the benefits of the technology.
S army only had 1 stopn by hermitage rd 1... Then 2 ur house...need 2 get done & cant n am b4 friday...
from an 804 phone number, Wednesday, July 20, 3:34 PM EST

As best I can tell, there was an army. They stopped at Hermitage Road. Then they stopped AT LEILA'S HOUSE. Why did an entire army comes to Leila's house? That seems intense. A militia, okay. An army? That might be overkill.
from a 570 phone number, Friday, July 15, 1:15 PM EST

Texts Sent From Torture Chambers, Part I.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Rileys im going to the fish hachery every monday tusday wensday thursday im with with riley:)


from a 541 phone number, Wednesday, August 3, 5:42 PM EST

I wish we can play
from a 541 phone number, Wednesday, August 3, 6:14 PM EST

When exactly would we have the time to play, Jt, now that you are spending FOUR DAYS A WEEK at the fish hatchery?
Happy Birthday to my bestie! Love you girl! Out last year in our 20's live it up and have fun you single sexy bitch:)
from an 850 phone number, Friday, August 5, 10:11 AM EST

Good job, best friend who takes a moment out of her declarations of birthday love to remind you that you're 29 and still single.
do you want to play tennis now?
from a 619 phone number, Friday, August 5, 7:12 PM EST

Do you mean the band Tennis? Then yes. I like them!

If you mean tennis like the sport, however, then perhaps you should ask one of your friends with proper motor skills. I am not much competition. Also, I cannot "volley," so don't even suggest that.
n i r countin toes
from a 713 phone number, Saturday, August 6, 10:56 AM EST

I hope you are reaching the number 10, 713.
H2O leila H2O!
from a 480 phone number, Saturday, August 6, 1:33 PM EST

Seriously! Especially in this weather! Remember: feeling thirsty means you're already a little dehydrated. Fill up your water bottles, y'all!
atassi FWD: Did i put those owl pics in your purse? goona kill meNEVERMIND GOT IT
from a 440 phone number, Sunday, August 7, 4:58 PM ESY

Probably this girl, as 440 is Ohio. It sounds like she found the owl pics, which is a huge relief. P.S. If I randomly found some pictures of owls in my purse and I had not just left a babysitting job, I'd be a little freaked out.