Saturday, November 15, 2008

on the way
from a 912 phone number, Saturday, November 15, 3:03 AM

At 3:03 AM? Goodness, where were on your way to at 3:03 AM? (Not that I'm faulting you-- I was on my way to a bar at 3:03 AM, so it makes total sense to me.)
hoy sasagutin mo ba ang fone?
from an 818 phone number, Friday, November 14, 10:50 PM

All right, translators. Go to it. You were so good with the Serbian ninja that I know you can figure out this one, too. The first word could be Spanish, but the rest is definitely not...
FWD: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd:Fwd: Why do men like to be on bottom during sex?...Because they ONLY know how to FUCK UP!..keep this going ladies!
from a 562 phone number, Thursday, November 13, 10:11 PM

Sorry, this doesn't make too much logical sense. If 562 were saying that men could only be on the bottom duing sex, then her conclusion that it's because they "ONLY" know how to fuck up would make sense. As it stands, she just tells us that men like to be on the bottom, which would imply, at best, that they LIKE to fuck up. A statement of somewhat less power than the current claim.

Anyway, that's obviously just me, as, based on the number of "FWD"s, at least seven ladies found this funny or true enough to share with their friends (or with strangers named Leila).
hey i have your comp book still...
from a 626 phone number, Thursday, November 13, 8:43 PM

Honestly, you can keep it. Who wants to do computer homework this weekend, anyway. (Other than my friend Jason, who always wants to do computer homework. Hey, Jason. What up.)
what time do you want to be picked up
from a 508 phone number, Thursday, November 13, 2:31 PM

Man, I wish I or anyone I knew in this city owned a car.
FWD: Lets see if this works! I'm trusting you! I sent an angel to take care of u! Give her to 9 friends including me.u will have good news in 2 hrs
from a 425 phone number, Wednesday, November 12, 9:53 PM

I'm impressed that 425 is in charge of choosing whom angels protect. You see? I get text messages from some really influential individuals!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

No opera for me this weekend. i really have to buckle down and get some homework done. I let nadia know. Thanks for thinking of me
from a 248 phone number, Wednesday, November 12, 10:19 AM

Come on. You didn't really want to go to the opera, did you. I can tell. If you really wanted to go to the opera, you would buckle down tonight and tomorrow night and Friday night and get your homework done THEN. It's okay; you're allowed not to embrace high culture.
from a 508 phone number, Tuesday, November 11, 4:22 AM

I'm actually surprised this isn't from my best friend Alli. Well, actually, Alli is never awake at 4:22 AM. But she would totally say this to me. I wonder if this Intended Leila has a best friend just like my best friend Alli? I wonder if they are leading parallel lives to us?
So all good where will you sleep tonight lets talk tomorrow i am tired good night
from a 510 phone number, Monday, November 10, 12:41 AM

510 has still not learned to punctuate. As reader Ali pointed out, "Never underestimate the important of punctuation."
FWD: FWD:FWD: Fwd:Alert* Statue of liberty is coming down today! Aunt Jamima going up in her place holding a chicken leg.....
from a 562 phone number, Saturday, November 8, 11:35 PM

In the week since Barack Obama was elected President, I have received a number of racist text messages. More than I've ever received on any one topic, in fact. This one is not the worst of them. I'm actually not posting the worst ones because, while I think documenting every text I receive is valuable for providing a complete picture of what people say to their Leilas, I worry that readers will misunderstand and think that I'm condoning the ideas that I post. You have to remember that I post texts to this blog not because I think they're funny or admirable or (in this instance) despicable, but simply because they are what I receive. I've never before left text off my blog because I disagree with them-- I try to be a somewhat unbiased transcriber in that way-- but, frankly, some messages just don't deserve to be repeated.