Hows it going? U of M doesnt look to great
from a 734 phone number, Saturday, November 26, 2:16 PM EST

College football. Being a sports fan is not for the dilettante or the faint of heart. And I know this because I am both a dilettante and faint of heart, which is why my only interaction with today's "game" has been this text message.

Wats up shit face bbbbbaaabbbbbbyyyy
from a 978 phone number, Saturday, November 26, 12:50 AM EST

If 978's point is that he is shitfaced, well, I think that pretty much goes without saying. If on the other hand he is calling Leila a "shit face," I don't know, that doesn't really seem acceptable to me.

Oops! Hope yur tg was great. I do need $ for airfare soon so no intrest is charged. Also have sack for Zack. Steins & toy. want to get past this.
from an 815 phone number, Friday, November 25, 9:46 PM EST

"Sack for Zack"! That rhymes. Otherwise, not really clear what's going on here. "Hope your Thanksgiving was great," fine. "I do need money for airfare soon so no interest is charged," maybe paid for a flight on a credit card and is waiting for Leila to reimburse. "Steins and toy," just googled it, not a thing. "Want to get past this"-- what?

Think about what you're saying. "Oh, that's so gay, homosexuality is wrong, etc. etc." He's my best friend, and you're upsetting him. A lot.
Just think.
from a 510 phone number, Friday, November 25, 3:28 PM EST

I hadn't realized this before right this minute, but it turns out that opinions on sexuality are simple. I have no idea why our government has spent so many years deliberating DADT and gay marriage, or why Foucault even wrote those books in the first place, when 510 has just managed to change a homophobe's mind in 160 characters. That was easy!

Are the funks practicing this week?
from a 301 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 11:49 PM EST

Funk doesn't practice. Funk just happens.

Tell Mama check 956 $34.66
from a 229 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 3:59 PM EST

Do people still use checks to pay for routine business transactions? Like, would you go to the grocery store and buy $34.66 worth of groceries and then make a check out to Stop & Shop?

my love Hey do u wanna go black friday shooping at 12 with roszie
from a 443 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 11:41 AM EST

my love Heyy are u getting my texts
from a 443 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 12:20 PM EST

Texting Leila to ask if she is getting your texts seems like something of a Catch-22.

Hey u r still coming for thanksgiving even though nick is not
from a 719 phone number, Monday, November 21, 11:10 PM EST

Thanks for getting the gravy. Do you need a pan of dressing for the Wheeler dinner?
Malinda
from a 770 phone number, Wednesday, November 23, 3:45 PM EST

Happy thanksgiving! i hope i didn't wake you up.
from a 602 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 11:03 AM EST

HAPPY
THANKSGIVING
-fruit salad
from a 732 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 12:50 PM EST

Happy thanksgiving to your families
from a 301 phone number, Thursday, November 24, 1:10 PM EST

And a happy Thanksgiving to you!

i am sex
from a 425 phone number, Wednesday, November 23, 4:43 PM EST

So you would describe yourself as a moist, sweaty, sticky, and occasionally very awkward person? I don't know, 425. Given the choice, I would rather be sexy than be sex. To each her own, I guess.

Come down
from a 347 phone number, Wednesday, November 23, 6:55 AM EST

But everything looks perfect from far away.

Abro Happy Birthday Leila! I hope you all had a great time at Disney! Sorry to text so late. Love Aunt Debbie
from a 586 phone number, Monday, November 21, 11:20 PM EST

If I had a dollar for every time a Leila Text references Disney, I would have enough dollars to buy myself a trip to Disneyworld.

I feel like I'm dying :( any suggestions?
from an 859 phone number, Monday, November 21, 8:45 PM EST

Pepto Bismol.

Wright Is Feeling Good.Michael Buble version?U want sultry,sexy costume?Did Kevin choreo yet?Dress?Skimpy or covered?
from a 559 phone number, Monday, November 21, 1:26 PM EST

559 and Leila strike me as adult performers. I hope that Kevin choreographed a sultry, sexy dance for them to perform to some rockin' Michael Buble jams.

Anne>> :) my fone is makin me mad cuz i can only use the keyboard :(
from a 419 phone number, Tuesday, November 22, 8:02 PM EST

Anne>> Nm u
from a 419 phone number, Tuesday, November 22, 8:19 PM EST

anne>> Hey :)
from a 419 phone number, Wednesday, November 23, 5:32 PM EST

Dear Anne,
Your fone is makin me mad, as well.
Sincerely,
Leila

Has the traffic died down?
from an 818 phone number, Wednesday, November 23, 6:45 PM EST

It's the night before Thanksgiving. Do you think the traffic has died down?

Hey sorry i was a jerk ummm well i was mad u guys told a lie about me i no u r still band at me but will u forgiive me still evan if we cant hanf out
from an 815 phone number, Sunday, November 20, 7:00 PM EST

This is not much of an apology. First 815's like, "Sorry I was a jerk," which is a good start. But then she's like, "I was mad that you guys told a lie about me," which seems like it's just starting the argument up again. Then she asks for forgiveness, and then she says they still can't hang out. 815 is actually pretty lucky that this text came to me instead of to her Intended Leila, because now she gets another shot at trying to figure out how to say "sorry."

Kitten has made his christmas list.... 6 mice, one pound of catnip (peruvian), a whitefin tuna and a "I hate dogs" sign......
from a 401 phone number, Saturday, November 19, 6:31 PM EST

Isn't it a bit early for Christmas lists? Come on, Kitten. It's not even Thanksgiving yet.

Heeeeeyyyyy. Im bored. HOMEWORK!!! Bleuaghhh!!
from a 920 phone number, Thursday, November 17, 8:52 PM EST

dad said 15 minutes or 20:9 sooooooooooo board!!!!
from a 574 phone number, Sunday, November 20, 2:21 PM EST

One of the things about being a teenager is feeling a really vehement, powerful sense of boredom. As an adult, when that boredom starts to nip at my heels, I just sweep my floors for a while. After that, boredom doesn't seem all that bad any more.