Happppppppy birthdaaaaay leilaaa love yooou.
from a 774 phone number, Thursday, February 10, 6:17 AM EST

"You know, just texting 'happy birthday leila love you' looks so... weak. There's no way that will stand out amongst all the birthday texts Leila is bound to get today. Wait, I know! I'll make every word in that message super-long! And also I'll send it incredibly early in the morning, before Leila is even awake! This plan will be sure to help me stand out in the crowd."

How long was your explication for the poem we had to read?
from a 330 phone number, Thursday, February 10, 9:45 PM EST

Twelve pages. Single spaced. GOOD FUCKING LUCK.

I want to do a bowling nite very soon. Let me know what works for you guys.
from a 650 phone number, Friday, February 11, 11:18 PM EST

People want to have bowling nights so often! I do not understand it. It costs as much money as a private karaoke room yet provides far fewer opportunities to sing "The Sign."

R yor ears pierced
from a 512 phone number, Saturday, February 12, 1:29 PM EST

Yes. You are the only loser without pierced ears. Now you know.

Imm at piano hate ir
from a 347 phone number, Saturday, February 12, 2:34 PM EST

Despite the typos, I understand exactly what 347 means. I think we all do. Except for those of us who are, like, Jerry Lee Lewis.

Hey. Sorry to bug you. But did you get my text. can you work tomorrow night. Unless you got a date. I understand. Just trying everyone. No one can work.
from a 209 phone number, Sunday, February 13, 11:14 PM EST

Gawd, seriously, 209? Seriously. You would even ask me-- Me, Leila, the most popular girl you know!-- if I could work tomorrow night? No, of course I can't. "Unless you got a date." Of COURSE I got a date. Is it a day of the week ending in "Y"? Then I'm busy. You should be sorry to bug me.

Hey r u goin to do any thing for the talent
from a 240 phone number, Thursday, February 10, 3:58 PM EST

R u watchin the grammys
Justine whiten
from a 240 phone number, Sunday, February 13, 6:48 PM EST

I've actually received like a dozen texts from this girl over the past week or so, but I deleted most of them because they just weren't that interesting, and, you know, I only have room for so many texts in my phone's inbox. Anyway: No, I was not watchin the grammys. Were you?

Eating at Shipyards
from a 407 phone number, Sunday, February 13, 5:35 PM EST

407 is metro-Orlando, so this texter is likely referring to the Shipyard Brewport, located in the Orlando airport. I wonder if they had an outgoing flight, or if they just drove to the airport for some dinner and 'brew.'

Will u come and do that thing that u did yestyrday zee wont do it shes emberresed
from a 313 phone number, Sunday, February 13, 1:20 PM EST

What did Leila do yesterday? Burp the alphabet, or perform a drunken striptease?

tell elyse thankyou - i am getting that girl some itunes cards :-) good practice tonight - tell miss K great job.
from a 619 phone number, Tuesday, February 8, 10:45 PM EST

turtles tanning at cal tech
from a 619 phone number, Sunday, February 13, 1:25 PM EST

I would also accept some iTunes cards, by the way. And some turtles tanning at Cal Tech. Please and thank you.

My mom wont let me have a facebook!!
I AM ZIM!
from a 248 phone number, Tuesday, February 8, 8:02 PM EST

While I'm of the mind that every good little boy or girl is entitled to his or her own facebook account, I'm going to have to side with Mom on this one. As long as you're calling it "a facebook," 248, you shouldn't have facebook.

FWD: Fwd: FWD: FWD:I love U! (: if u ruin this chain u will be single for 4yrs send to 10 buddiez &you'll get an unexpected txt in 5 mins -Usher is amzing
from a 607 phone number, Tuesday, February 8, 5:52 PM EST

Often I don't post simple chain texts because they tend to be unremarkable, but check out that sig line. "Usher is amzing"? What is this, 2001?

Honey i'm sorry i was a bum tonight =( i'm jus gettin a lil stressed wit all the work....love u baby!! Miss u!
from an 856 phone number, Tuesday, February 8, 11:06 AM EST

Good morning sweetheart! How are u feeling this morning? Hope ur doin ok honey...i love u!
from an 856 phone number, Thursday, February 10, 10:23 AM EST

Hey baby i cant help but think of u during these song! U go and save the best for last....yea i could see us dancing to that!!
from an 856 phone number, Tuesday, February 15, 12:20 PM EST

856 and Leila seem to have an extremely loving romantic relationship. And also a large number of affectionate pet names for each other.

Were u mad at me today?? u didnt talk 2 me at all!
from a 920 phone number, Tuesday, February 15, 4:54 PM EST

Not only did Leila not talk to you at all today, but also now she is ignoring your text messages. What does this mean??

jesus luvs u and so do we. Pastos PASTORS RALPH AND NORMA.
from a 915 phone number, Wednesday, February 2, 3:56 PM EST

"Luv" seems like kind of a slender emotion compared with how I thought Jesus was supposed to feel about us. I mean, this isn't a candy heart or a perforated valentine.

R u there or at pony club
from a 240 phone number, Saturday, February 5, 11:10 AM EST

Do we think pony club is like the Saddle Club? If so, then, yes, that is where I am.

Where the F r u?
from a 317 phone number, Sunday, February 6, 7:14 PM EST

I want to hire 317 to write a book entitled How to Convey Complex Sentiments in As Few Letters As Possible.

Did you aunt lil had same surgerey?
from a 707 phone number, Tuesday, February 1, 8:38 PM EST

Yep..actual time of surgery is only one hour 30 minutes. dr cool. they say 4 hours for prep time.
from a 707 phone number, Wednesday, February 2, 2:34 PM EST

Congratulations on baby clara! Give me a call if you can
from a 616 phone number, Wednesday, February 2, 5:03 PM EST

Daddy is fine just waiting for a room.
from a 603 phone number, Friday, February 4, 4:19 PM EST

It seems like a lot of people spent part of last week in the hospital...

baraCkman Even though u were assigned a spot to sing just stand next 2 me and sikt next 2 me the whole time ok?
from a 917 phone number, Thursday, February 3, 5:41 PM EST

barackman Cant text now goin to the mall with sam.
from a 917 phone number, Saturday, February 5, 1:59 PM EST

I feel like this chick would really get along with the 732 chick who I also hear from every day. This one seems less Justin Bieber-obsessed, but otherwise I imagine they'd have a great deal in common. I want to friend-matchmake them. In a non-creepy way.

wut wuz tht about
pump up da fruit
from a 330 phone number, Sunday, February 6, 12:08 PM EST

It's kind of like when you pump up the jams, only it happens before the fruits are made into jams. Like when they're still whole strawberries, or whatever.