Hey thought u would wanna know cause we all used to hang out But josh wilbanks died today
from an 864 phone number, Sunday, October 9, 5:15 PM EST

I don't know who Josh Wilbanks is, but this is very sad news. I can't find his obituary online, but perhaps it hasn't gone out yet.

missing you already…felt sad all day yesterday. did you take off early this morning?
from a 203 phone number, Monday, October 10, 10:18 AM EST

Awww. Leila misses you, too.

I got a hot guy you’re gonna hook up with at my party k? he’s a marine
from a 267 phone number, Saturday, October 8, 8:58 PM EST

Does the marine know that he’s going to hook up with Leila? I’m sure he’d be into it, since all Leilas are by definition incredibly hot. I’m just wondering is 267 had alerted him to this amazing hook-up opportunity, or not.

Hey hope things are going ok text or call when you have any news sissy told me you are close good luck we love you
from an 805 phone number, Friday, October 7, 10:57 PM EST

I wonder what Leila is close to. Sissy told me you are close to buying that house? Sissy told me you are close to getting cast in that commercial? Sissy told me you are close to leaving work for the day? Anything, really.

Hi bff/sis
from a 480 phone number, Sunday, September 25, 7:19 PM EST

Night leila
from a 480 phone number, Sunday, September 25, 11:10 PM EST

Morning
from a 480 phone number, Monday, September 26, 11:00 AM EST

It makes me laugh to see Leila Texts that say "Night leila" because Leila means night, in many languages. It's like saying "Night night." Which is also cute.

Win tom so that we can go to the championships!!!!!!!!!
from an 859 phone number, Saturday, September 24, 4:15 PM EST

This seems like generally good advice. You know, don't lose. Win, instead.

hey i gotta run up north aftr troy so im probly gunna pass out can we do lunch 2mrw?.. im getting tattood in the late afternoon
*LiL*aSh*
from a 518 phone number, Tuesday, September 27, 12:40 AM EST

what the fuck is sean on cus this is ridiculous..
*LiL*aSh*
from a 518 phone number, Friday, September 30, 7:51 PM EST

Every time we hear from Lil Ash, she gets slightly more debauched. Drinking, tattooing, swearing! I am fascinated by her.

Come home so we can watch lost
from a 703 phone number, Saturday, October 1, 8:27 PM EST

Confession: I have never watched Lost. I am not opposed to it or anything. It's just that by the time I understood that it was a cultural phenomenon, it was like season three, and I knew I would never be able to catch up. I know one friend who watched every episode in order to get caught up for season five. It was insane. She was watching like eight hours of Lost each night. I feel like I don't have eight hours a night.

Duh im here but didnt see the white board advertising free massage etc. Is it upstairs?
from a 609 phone number, Sunday, October 2, 11:55 AM EST

Here meaning at the event
from a 609 phone number, Sunday, October 2, 11:56 AM EST

Free massage?! Can I also come to this event? I never see white boards advertising free massage etc., but I would sure like to.

Wanna chill with me and maddy?
from a 503 phone number, Sunday, October 2, 8:09 PM EST

???
from a 503 phone number, Sunday, October 2, 8:15 PM EST

Sorry, I wasn't aware from the first text that this was a question. I thought perhaps you were being rhetorical. The three question marks really clarifies the issue. Thanks.

I will be at the bgreenbelt tennis courts playing
from a 301 phone number, Wednesday, October 5, 5:29 PM EST

Presumably that’s the Greenbelt, Maryland, Tennis Association, especially since 301 is a Maryland area code. Google tells me there is also a Greenbelt Tennis Club, but that’s in Canada. I don’t think the Leila Texts works in Canada.

Can u sub for me tonite at navy 6:30-8
from a 410 phone number, Thursday, October 6, 2:44 PM EST

Presumably this is an Old Navy shift? I think if you are in the actual navy you can’t just ask someone to sub for you on your naval ship at war for an hour and a half.

This is Bs & Cs weather!
from a 616 phone number, Thursday, October 6, 5:21 PM EST

It’s true, in weather like this I don’t want to stay inside and study and get As. I want to go apple picking and frolic through leaves and get Bs and Cs!

Avoid him
The b3@$t
from a 662 phone number, Thursday, October 6, 11:42 AM EST

Wat u doing
The b3@$t
from a 662 phone number, Thursday, October 6, 12:14 PM EST

Hey wat u doing
The b3@$t
from a 662 phone number, Thursday, October 6, 1:20 PM EST

Still at wall greens
The b3@$t
from a 662 phone number, Thursday, October 6, 5:52 PM EST

Do you think someone else termed 662 “The Beast,” or is that a name that he gave to himself? It’s kind of self-aggrandizing to nickname yourself “The Beast.”

Hey u r hot
from a 704 phone number, Wednesday, October 5, 6:57 PM EST

This is the text message equivalent of a construction worker catcalling at you as you walk home from work.

do u mind txting me the top notch words
:]Lmfao[;
from an 845 phone number, Wednesday, October 5, 6:56 PM EST

Sure, well, there’s obviously antidisestablishmentarianism. That’s pretty top-notch. I’m into the word efficacious. Oh, onomatopoeia, that is a top notch word. Is this helping you any?

Ok so when are we hangin out hoe
from a 781 phone number, Tuesday, October 4, 5:46 PM EST

When will texters learn? “Hoe” is a gardening implement. “Ho” is a prostitute. You’re trying to call Leila a prostitute, not an object similar to a rake, right? Work on this.

Lol.. I’m at best buy and they need to hurry
from an 808 phone number, Friday, September 30, 11:46 PM EST

Clearly 808 has never been to a Best Buy before if she thinks it’s actually possible that the staff there might “hurry.”

What events are u swimming
from an 803 phone number, Wednesday, September 28, 5:24 PM EST

Me, personally? Well, the doggy paddle 30 yards, of course. Sidestroke 15 yards is one of my specialties, as is elementary backstroke 15. I’m kind of a competitor. No big deal.

Donut forget well wednesday money
from a 585 phone number, Saturday, September 24, 3:49 PM EST

I love that somewhere there is a phone that auto-corrects “don’t” with “donut.” Going forward, every time I’m about to say “don’t,” I’m just going to eat a donut instead.