Sure. So this is text-speak for "Can you translate stuff for me?"

Does that help?

Not sure this text is helping with the language barrier any.

Back in my pre-iPhone dark days, I would have spent an entire night typing this up for you. Now all it takes is seven screenshots. Which, by the way, is also a lot of effort.

I don't know which is harder: spelling, or finding the space key on your cell phone.

Let this be a PSA for all of us. What are YOU getting mom this Mother's Day? (Correct answer: a grandchild.)

I think this is the first time I've ever been mistaken for a bus-driving Leila.

I wonder why 301 needs another copy of her birth certificate. Maybe she is getting MARRIED! That would be an exciting reason.

Skatetown USA is "the Tri State's Premier Roller Skating Facility." And when you visit their website, it immediately starts playing a pump-up skate-time jam by Taio Cruz. Consider yourself warned.

You can leave Ryan at home, but I should warn you that my babysitting rates are pretty steep. Especially when Brent's not there.

I hope it's something like a pretty news dress, and not something boring like new covers for my patio furniture. Or maybe if I had patio furniture, that wouldn't seem so boring.

Okay yes I will go out with you. As any of my exes can tell you, I am a sucker for poetry.

Christopher is truly a wunderkind.

Are we ordering pizza?! For $3 each, we should each get two slices. I am so ready to eat my two slices.

"Why? I don't know, just 'cause. Not because I stole $20 from my mom's wallet and blamed it on my brother or anything like that."

Thanks, that was all it took to cure Leila's seasonal affect disorder.

I LOVE HOT CHOCOLATE! And french toast. And bagels. Man, I really did miss out.

Okay, guys, I just got an iPhone, so I am attempting to make this a "modern blog" filled with "modern text messages." It's tough going, though. I can't even figure out how to talk on my iPhone, let alone edit images and then type up snarky commentary about them. Just bear with me while I get the hang of this.

It's a brave new world.