hey babe this is auntpat i have a favor to ask is it possible 4 u 2 sray with uncle virgil on sat from 10:30 while im at a funeral
from a 260 phone number, Thursday, February 18, 8:23 PM

260 must think that Leila is a huge bitch for never replying to this text. 260 is thinking, like, "I ask my niece to stay with her UNCLE, who NEEDS company, while I am at a FUNERAL, and bitch can't even be bothered to text me back?!"

My bad.

quick.....at Schatt's. Want bread...what kind?
from a 323 phone number, Friday, February 19, 4:45 PM

I assume 323 is refeerng to this bakery, in which case I would like a loaf of "Honi Squaw Raisin Nut."

WTF its snowing!
from a 970 phone number, Saturday, February 20, 5:08 PM

That's exactly how I've felt for like the past three days. However, 970 is Colorado, so, assuming this texter is there, I'm not sure why the snow comes as such a shock.

Dont make me tell you again
Donnie
from a 928 phone number, Monday, February 22, 12:04 AM

Don't make you tell Leila what, Donnie? That's she's a cacahead? Are you still on that?

hey i forgot there is a check in the system for tom terry i think he is coming first thing this morning sorry i just remembered
from an 815 phone number, Tuesday, February 23, 8:56 AM

I hope Leila's not too annoyed when Tom Terry comes in asking for his check, and she's like, "I have no idea why you're here."

What happened w/ alexa? Why did she go home?
from an 805 phone number, Friday, February 26, 11:42 PM

Ugh, I hate this! All the questions, none of the answers. We will never know why Alexa want home! And neither will 805.

I AM USING TXT FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE ARE FREE IF YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHER. LET ME KNOW AMY
from a 508 phone number, Monday, February 22. 11:39 AM

Really, Amy? You are using text for the first time? I am surprised to learn this.

Hey so tell me the homwork for each class
Halia^^]~
from a 310 phone number, Monday, February 22, 7:21 PM

Um, no. Have you ever tried ASKING, Halia? It's a little word called please, and it's your own damn fault you missed school today (I assume).

My sister had the baby. A boy named joshua, only 4lbs.
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, February 23, 11:42 AM

Only four pounds?! That is very tiny. That was my cat's weight when she was 21 and had to be put down, and she was practically starving to death. And she was a CAT. Joshua is a human. I wonder how premature he was.

Hey tell tanna that you are mean
Tina Britton
from a 423 phone number, Tuesday, February 23, 9:05 PM

Tina Britton hasn't yet really mastered the "insult" thing.

wooooo! up in new hampshaaaaa!
from an 860 phone number, Friday, February 19, 5:19 PM

Hands down, this is the most pumped anyone has ever been to be in New Hampshire.

I suggest u read this over a toilet. U gonna puke.
from an 818 phone number, Thursday, February 25, 9:11 PM

Read what? Clearly not this text message. This text is very un-nauseating.

Have you been watching Gossip Girl this season? You're the only one I can go OMF to.
from a 605 phone number, Saturday, February 20, 3:59 PM

No, actually, I have not been watching GG this season, and I am so glad you asked, 605, because I would love to explain why. I watched the first two seasons diligently, and I have been waiting for someone to ask why I quit so that I can rant about it a little. Ideally, the person to ask me would be a CW network exec, but, barring that, some girl from South Dakota will do.

I stopped watching GG for two reasons. ONE, they started showing it at 9pm, and that is too late for me to be out in Manhattan and at a friend's house every Monday night. Watching GG is fulfilling, not in and of itself, but as a social experience. If it's at 9pm, I can't watch it at a friend's house because that is too late at night. And if I can't watch it at a friend's house, than it's not worth watching, because it is not an inherently good show.

TWO, GG completely trashed any continuity in storyline or character sometime during Season Two. It angers me (clearly) that they think they can just take a bunch of beautiful people and throw beautiful clothes on them and I will keep watching. I am not that dumb. The reason why I watched three seasons of the OC was because they were beautiful people in beautiful clothes ACTING IN WAYS CONSISTENT WITH THEIR CHARACTERS. New situations would arise, and Ryan Atwood would always react like Ryan Atwood (i.e. misguidedly violent), and Marisa Cooper would always react like Marisa Cooper (i.e. self-defeatingly). But on Gossip Girl? There is no standard way for Dan Humphrey to respond to things, because he is NOT A REAL CHARACTER. He reacts in whatever way seems easiest and most convenient for the storywriters at that moment.

So, in short: No, 605. I have not been watching Gossip Girl this season. But for some damn good reasons.

U da cacaheaded 1 Donnie
from a 928 phone number, Sunday, February 21, 5:42 PM

We're just all about the insults today, aren't we? Though "You're the caca-headed one" is a little more... unique, I suppose, than simply "suck a dick." "Unique" is the word I'm looking for, isn't it?

Suck a dixl
from a 703 phone number, Sunday, February 21, 2:32 PM

Suck a dick
from a 703 phone number, Sunday, February 21, 2:34 PM

The phrase "suck a dick" is not as easy to spell as you might think.

Father wants you to talk to you. Patience and understanding
from a 786 phone number, Monday, February 15, 3:40 PM

Is this from Leila's superior older sister? Because I have to say, nothing makes me exhibit less patience and understanding than someone telling me that I have to. I'd be all, "God, I knoooooow, I was going to!"

thisisjjwereareyouismamaawak

word surch
-abby-
from a 951 phone number, Sunday, February 14, 5:41 PM

"This is JJ. Where are you? Is Mama awake?"

Did I solve the word search?

Mija ill pick u up when tia carol gets out of bed about ten . Ok
from a 520 phone number, Sunday, February 14, 11:20 AM

"Mija" = a contraction of "mi hija," which is Spanish for "my daughter."
"Tia" = aunt.

See? Fluent, as usual.

I AM USING TXT FOR THE FIRST TIME. WE ARE FREE IF YOU WANT TO GET TOGETHER. LET ME KNOW AMY
from a 508 phone number, Sunday, February 14, 10:25 AM

Uh, Amy? No offense, but it was kind of obvious that you're using txt for the first time. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did.

hey leila. at the beach so reception is not good. cannot come tonight. sorry it keeps being no, but i really need a bit of advance notice. hope u have fun
from an 808 phone number, Saturday, February 13, 9:30 PM

Shot down! 808 is kind of annoyed with Leila and her last-minute invitations. Like, "I'm sorry to keep saying no... but not that sorry, since you never give me any notice, so really you bring this on yourself."