wana beach it? ur probably at work.
from a 619 phone number, Monday, October 13, 6:34 PM

let me know if u feel like getting out.
from a 619 phone number, Monday, October 13, 10:42 PM

At 6:34 PM on a Monday in October, I pretty much ALWAYS feel like beaching it. And I pretty much NEVER actually do so.

Do you want me to make you some thing out of paper mache?
from an 815 phone number, Monday, October 13, 3:21 PM

Hi...hows it hanging?
from an 815 phone number, Tuesday, October 14, 8:23 PM

Leila...
from an 815 phone number, Wednesday, October 15, 8:45 AM

See, one per day is a more appropriate texting frequency. Let this be a lesson to you, 360. And, yes, 815, I would love if you would make me something out of papier mache. A castle would be ideal, thank you.

Hey ugky
from a 360 phone number, Tuesday, October 14, 10:21 PM

Hey ugly, jay says hi
from a 360 phone number, Wednesday, October 15, 1:14 PM

Hey what class r u in now?
from a 360 phone number, Wednesday, October 15, 2:26 PM

Can u give me tiffanys numbes please
from a 360 phone number, Wednesday, October 15, 2:30 PM

Hey r u at lunch
from a 360 phone number, Wednesday, October 15, 3:59 PM

Hey did u get out of schull already?
from a 360 phone number, Wednesday, October 15, 5:12 PM

Over the past 24 hours, 360 learned how to type "ugly" correctly, and I nearly threw my phone out the window. Can you please be a little more selective in what you text Leila, 360? The sheer quantity is exhausting.

your a nimrod
from a 360 phone number, Sunday, October 12, 5:24 PM

Now it's 360's turn. Reclaiming the word for nimrods everywhere. Right on, 360. This has been a weekend of reclaiming.

Did gordon finish the ace
from an 843 phone number, Saturday, October 11, 10:25 PM

Maybe 843 meant "the race"? A race is a thing that someone may or may not finish.

Yeah yea yea
from an 843 phone number, Saturday, October 11, 3:55 PM

She loves you
Yeah, yea, yea
And with a love like that
You know you should be glad.

FWD: FW:Msg::Fwd:FWD:FWD: See wat ppl wnt from u! 1=a baby 2=anotha chance 3=love 4=kiss 5=friendship foreva 6=sex 7=lap dance 8=date 9=hug
from a 404 phone number, Saturday, October 11, 3:15 PM

First of all, this is the randomest list EVER of things to want from someone. I mean, "lap dance"? What is that doing in here?

Furthermore, I think the way this is supposed to work is that everyone to whom you forward this texts you back with a number. But at the point where they're doing that, can't they text you back with an actual word? Isn't it as easy (and more accurate) to send a text asking, "What do you want from me?" thus leaving them the open-ended opportunity to text back, "The book I loaned you," or, "Your rosy complexion," or "A baby"?

I guess it's not okay to send someone a text message saying, "I want you to give me a lap dance," but it's totally fine to send them a text message saying, "7."

Hi bitch!
from an 832 phone number, Saturday, October 11, 12:27 AM

832 is 'reclaiming' the word from its negative connotations. Way to stand up for womyn, 832.

Breakfast tomorrow or sunday? yummy
from a 248 phone number, Friday, October 10, 8:25 AM

Ideally one should never be awake early enough on weekend to have "breakfast." Your first meal on a Saturday or Sunday should be "brunch." However, 248 was texting at 8:25 AM, so she is obviously a habitual early riser.

hey. sent u an email. call me or write back!
from a 619 phone number, Friday, October 10, 2:55 AM

Mmmmm no. This directive contradicts a commonly held truth: that you should respond to communications in the same medium in which they were received. If someone texts you, text them back. Don't call. If someone IMs you, IM them back. Don't email. And, for lord's sake, if someone emails you, don't call or write them back. Everybody knows.

gracies been sick all afternoon she might feel better in the morning sher has ran a fever since i got home
from a 256 phone number, Thursday, October, 9, 10:59 PM

Poor Gracie! Yesterday was like the day of depressing texts. Love and prayer to Gracie, too, okay?

I'm at work i'll call you when i get off. I'm sending you lots of love and prayers.
from a 510 phone number, Thursday, October 9, 3:36 PM

This sounds like a bad situation. I don't know what I'm praying for, 510, but, if I did, I'd send you lots of love and prayers, too.

Dang it, I guess me whole Sylar/Claire theory is shot.
from a 425 phone number, Thursday, October 9, 7:58 PM

A Heroes reference. I don't watch Heroes enough to get it. My best friend Alli does, but I don't think my best friend Alli reads this blog.

mire FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD: FWD: THe person u are meant to be with will txt u at 11:07 but if you dnt snd this to ten ppl then u will lose that person.
from an 865 phone number, Monday, October 6, 6:34 PM

Question: If I don't snd this to ten ppl (and, let's be frank, I'm not going to), will the person I am meant to be with still txt me at 11:07, and then I'll just lose him/her at some unspecified later date? Or will S/he not even txt me in the first place if I don't forward this ten times? I know these seem like insignificant details, but truly they make all the difference.

I aM In st louis Jake had a huge party at Home. john is furious & wont let lilly go to homecoming Tomorrow
from a 913 phone number, Saturday, October 4, 1:30 AM

It is my unique cross that I alone must bear to receive text messages at 1:30 on a Saturday night, and to hope that they are, perhaps, from a cute guy harboring a crush on me, only to discover that they are actually about a huge party and a Homecoming that I was not invited to. It's a long way down from my dreams to my reality.

Did u register 2 vote yet
from an 814 phone number, Friday, October 3, 8:08 PM

YEAH. DID YOU? Look, I know it seems all played out this election year, like yadda yadda yadda with the civic responsibility and whatnot, but SERIOUSLY IF YOU DON'T VOTE IN NOVEMBER I WILL MESS YOU UP. (This, of course, applies only to my American readers. The rest of you are off the hook.... FOR NOW.)

hey this is lisa w i was wondering if you or bianca could lay out my lil stuff for today or should ask someone in the house? i have class all day
from a 661 phone number, Wednesday, October 1, 2:51 PM

Lisa W. is probably in college, because younger students don't need to specify that they "have class all day," while older people don't have class at all. I'm going to further assume that Lisa is in a sorority. Thus, when she says "the house," she means "the sorority house," and when she says "my lil stuff," maybe she means "the stuff for my little sister."

Clare, Leslie, readers who used to be in sororities: Please confirm or deny my speculations.

hi how is Neve I cant find you
from a 650 phone number, Tuesday, September 30, 5:50 PM

I can't find you, either. It might help if you told me your name.

tell steve if hes don for the pizza hut buffet
-Lou
from a 562 phone number, Tuesday, September 30, 2:19 PM

Look, I don't want to foist my bourgeois tastes on Lou, Steve, and Leila, but: A Pizza Hut buffet? Really? I am all for pizza buffets, but why not Pizzeria Uno, guys? Why not CPK? Can you honestly not do any better than Pizza Hut? Have you even tried?

Hey wat up fool what are you going to be for halloween
*Keely*;-)
from an 808 phone number, Sunday, September 28, 9:29 PM

This from the same girl who wanted Leila to play outside last week. This text makes me anxious. Am I really supposed to already know what I'm going to be for Halloween? Does Keely know? Does her Intended Leila? Am I so far behind the times? Have all the good costume ideas been taken already? I work myself into a panic.