jhey watcha doin?
from a 310 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 6:42 PM

Updating my blog. Eating Kashi "heart healthy" cereal for dinner. About to switch my laundry. Etc. It's a 24/7 party here.

send me some new pics of Jayla
from a 646 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 3:24 PM

646 is NYC, where I live. Is Jayla really that cute? Maybe I should go find her somewhere in the city and stare at her. Though I guess just because 646 is from here, that doesn't mean Leila and Jayla live here, too. Maybe they live in Oklahoma. I refuse to go all the way to Oklahoma just to see this Jayla character, who might not even be as cute as 646 implies here.

what website did you use for beauchamp homework?
from a 408 phone number, Sunday, January 11, 2:21 PM

They must have some teacher with the last name Beauchamp. Since I don't know what subject s/he teaches, I'm afraid I can't help here. Sorry, 408.

Happy new year. Hope all is well with you and yours.
Carmen
from an 860 phone number, Saturday, January 10, 2:04 PM

Carmen, the world moves much faster now than it did when you a girl. We are in an era of instant communication. If you're sending your happy new years texts on January 10, you are already too late.

If i came up to yo and told you i got married who is the first person that would come to your mind that you would think i got married to
from a 719 phone number, Friday, January 9, 9:27 AM

Is this a forward, or did 719 just make this up on her own? It sounds like a forward to me, despite its missing "FWD"s are the beginning. But why would anyone send this on? Any answers seem like they would be pretty useless. It's not even "Who do you think I ought to marry, if I had to get married right now." That might be interesting to get your friends' opinions on. But rather it's "Let's say I'm actually completely insane and I went ahead and got married without telling you, even though I'm not even dating anyone. Whom would you guess that I, in my dementia, got married to?" And then, what, Leila is supposed to write back, like, "Oooh, Ted! He's cute!" Or what?

yo are we going out after u come back on the bus or what
from a 484 phone number, Thursday, January 8, 6:40 PM

yooo sry bout tonite
from a 484 phone number, Thursday, January 8, 9:49 PM

Sounds like they were going to go out after Leila came back on the bus, but then 484 bailed for some reason. Ew. I hate when people bail on evening plans. And no, an apology text alone does not make amends. Particularly if you can't even be bothered to spell out the word "sorry."

Itana gonaa get knocked out she was talkin bout us at lunchhh Xoxo-ANJANAE!!!!
from a 281 phone number, Thursday, January 8, 6:40 PM

Ooooh! She was talkin bout you at lunch? What a bitch! Sounds like there's going to be a rumble.

My hair is so cute ! luv ya!
from a 704 phone number, Wednesday, January 7, 2:35 PM

Braggart.

hey girl. just want u 2 know what a lovely time i had at ur house christmas dat. i'm at montis right now. i had 2 fax some papers 4 my disability.
from a 609 phone number, Wednesday, January 7, 12:29 PM

my tv is. my box fried so i wanted to come 2 get some dvd's from jen. what do they have
from a 609 phone number, Wednesday, January 7, 12:30 PM

609 is disabled and her TV fried? Tough life.

Going to have a new home number after today 419 960 XXXX
from a 419 phone number, Wednesday, January 7, 8:31 PM

419 didn't write XXXX, of course; she wrote her actual phone number, but I'm giving it to you just in case you are perverts who might prank call her. I won't have that on my conscience.

Hey where r u
att Xoxo-ANJANAE!!!!
from a 281 phone number, Tuesday, January 6, 4:59 PM

Nice sig line. I wonder is Anianae is her real name, or a nick name? Is it Greek, do we think? No--Latin. That "ae" dipthong is so Latin.

FWD: Let's play Love tag! I Love you with all my heart! Tag everyone you love(even if it is just as a friend). If u get 4 back ur loved.
from a 425 phone number, Tuesday, January 6, 9:37 AM

4 seems like an arbitrary number here. Wouldn't you be loved even if you got only ONE back? I realize you'd be loved by only one person, but maybe that individual is the only person whose opinion you value.

poole did you buy a tv ? cant wait to get out of here tomorrow
from a 702 phone number, Sunday, January 4, 9:41 PM

I would imagine 702 was on winter break and is saying she can't wait to get away from her parents' house. Seriously, though, 702, vacation is vacation. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Heyy gurl how r u CHEETA LOVEEE
from a 281 phone number, Sunday, January 4, 8:57 PM

Oh my goodness, please let this have something to do with the Cheetah Girls.

FWD:Fwd: FW:Msg: FWD: Fwd:Dont send if u dont mean it. *PROMISE* we will ALWAYS be friends :) send this to ten friends even me or lose ten slowly.
from a 719 phone number, Sunday, January 4, 7:59 PM

Fwd: Msg: Fwd: Call me*67 leave a voicemail saying somthing u always wanted 2 tell me. keep this going&see How many calls you get dont
from a 719 phone number, Monday, January 5, 8:00 PM

Okay, sure:

"Hey, this is Leila. It's about 8:01 on Monday. I just got your text. Somthing I've always wanted 2 tell you... is that you send me way too many text forwards. And a lot of them sound kind of threatening. So... don't do that so much? Okay, catch you later, bye!"

FWD: (FW:) My ride or die bitch. My smile or cry bitch. Never trashy very class n always flyy bitch. I luv u bitch send 2 all yo bitches!
from a 419 phone number, Friday, January 2, 9:01 PM

Excuse the play on words, but it would have been a bitch to compose this text using predictive texting, since the Verizon dictionary does not recognize the word "bitch." Thanks, VZ, for keeping us all just that much purer!

Happy New Year God bless you all
from a 407 phone number, Friday, January 2, 4:12 PM

407 didn't have to include the word "all" here. She could have fooled Leila into believing that this wasn't a mass text, but rather that 407 specifically wanted God to bless Leila. Just because you know you're sending the same text to your whole phone book doesn't mean they have to know that.

hey look up this song too:
27 by fall out boy
from a 209 phone number, Sunday, December 28, 10:25 PM

Okay, I did. It's all right, I guess. It's no "Sugar, We're Going Down," though. "Sugar, We're Going Down" was a great pop song.

r u sad or happy today ?
from a 908 phone number, Friday, January 2, 11:27 AM

More happy than sad, but always something of a mixture of the two. Could you place these two extremes along a Likert scale for me, please, so that I may answer more accurately?

dont forget to get the chicken breast and the times for me please
from a 917 phone number, Friday, January 2, 10:08 AM

I respect this as a shopping list. A chicken breast and the NYTimes are really tops above my standard shopping list, which includes items like, "Oreos and those little paper umbrellas you stick in mixed drinks."