No 1 now
from a 503 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 11:08 PM
Why
from a 503 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 11:08 PM
Maybe these are also sports-related texts. The phrase "No 1" often seems connected to athletics, and also to my company's administration, which, in corporate meetings, often brags that "We are Number One!" though always without specifying what metric it is using.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
hi how r u where r u still in jamaica? i miss u & hate that u don't like amanda!
from a 917 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 8:23 PM
where r u?
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, March 25, 3:26 PM
tell me about american idol!
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, March 25, 9:58 PM
call me b4 10:30
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, March 26, 8:56 AM
These are all from the same girl who texted, on March 19, "where r u how r u i miss u so much" and, "amandas out! don't txt back! i do not want 2 hear ur insults!"
I draw a couple of conclusions from these six texts. One is that these girls probably go to private school, as private schools are on spring break now, and that would explain why Leila might be in Jamaica. Second, I learn that both Leila and 917 share a fondness for American Idol. Third, I learn that 917 has THREE TIMES over the course of six days asked Leila, "where r u?" This seems prying to me. If she didn't answer you the first time, maybe she just didn't want you to know. Lay off.
Meanwhile, I don't know what to think about this whole Amanda thing. "i miss u & hate that u don't like amanda!"? Maybe. But does Amanda deserve to be liked?
from a 917 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 8:23 PM
where r u?
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, March 25, 3:26 PM
tell me about american idol!
from a 917 phone number, Tuesday, March 25, 9:58 PM
call me b4 10:30
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, March 26, 8:56 AM
These are all from the same girl who texted, on March 19, "where r u how r u i miss u so much" and, "amandas out! don't txt back! i do not want 2 hear ur insults!"
I draw a couple of conclusions from these six texts. One is that these girls probably go to private school, as private schools are on spring break now, and that would explain why Leila might be in Jamaica. Second, I learn that both Leila and 917 share a fondness for American Idol. Third, I learn that 917 has THREE TIMES over the course of six days asked Leila, "where r u?" This seems prying to me. If she didn't answer you the first time, maybe she just didn't want you to know. Lay off.
Meanwhile, I don't know what to think about this whole Amanda thing. "i miss u & hate that u don't like amanda!"? Maybe. But does Amanda deserve to be liked?
fischer baby r u ok. call me
from a 510 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 7:44 PM
I guess if I had told someone to call me when she woke, and it was 7:44 the next evening and she still hadn't called, I would start to get worried, too. Actually, I'd get worried long before 7:44 PM, but whatever, maybe Leila is known for sleeping late.
In an attempt to shed more light on this, I looked up Leila Fischer on facebook. Unfortunately there are only two people with that name on there. One has a questions mark for a profile photo and belongs to no networks. The other lives in Denmark. So this Leila must remain, at least for now, a mystery.
from a 510 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 7:44 PM
I guess if I had told someone to call me when she woke, and it was 7:44 the next evening and she still hadn't called, I would start to get worried, too. Actually, I'd get worried long before 7:44 PM, but whatever, maybe Leila is known for sleeping late.
In an attempt to shed more light on this, I looked up Leila Fischer on facebook. Unfortunately there are only two people with that name on there. One has a questions mark for a profile photo and belongs to no networks. The other lives in Denmark. So this Leila must remain, at least for now, a mystery.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
fischer hello sweetheart. I love u Leila. Call me when u wake.
black diamond
from a 510 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 1:48 AM
I wanted to call this guy back and screech at him, "Black Diamond! Hello! I am awake RIGHT NOW! You said 'Call me when u wake,' so HERE I AM! I love u, TOO! SOULMATEZ0RZ!"
Fortunately for 510, I don't act on ALL of my crazy impulses.
black diamond
from a 510 phone number, Sunday, March 23, 1:48 AM
I wanted to call this guy back and screech at him, "Black Diamond! Hello! I am awake RIGHT NOW! You said 'Call me when u wake,' so HERE I AM! I love u, TOO! SOULMATEZ0RZ!"
Fortunately for 510, I don't act on ALL of my crazy impulses.
FWD: FWD: Pass a butterfly )i( along to everyone that has ever made you laugh, smile, love or been there for you. Hope i get one.
from a 618 phone number, Saturday, March 22, 5:17 PM
This text had remarkable timing. Not two hours before I received it, I was having a conversation with the author of a book called The Secret Rites of Social Butterflies. She was commenting that butterflies seemed to be all the rage nowadays. I was like, "I guess it's true. I just yesterday finished another book with 'butterfly' in its title, called The Patron Saint of Butterflies." And then I got this text message! So apparently the author was right: Butterflies ARE all the rage. You could even say butterflies are "in the air."
Ha, ha, ha.
Also, even if you don't know what a butterfly looks like, you don't need to feel left out of this new cultural phenomenon. 618 has helpfully illustrated it for you: )i(
from a 618 phone number, Saturday, March 22, 5:17 PM
This text had remarkable timing. Not two hours before I received it, I was having a conversation with the author of a book called The Secret Rites of Social Butterflies. She was commenting that butterflies seemed to be all the rage nowadays. I was like, "I guess it's true. I just yesterday finished another book with 'butterfly' in its title, called The Patron Saint of Butterflies." And then I got this text message! So apparently the author was right: Butterflies ARE all the rage. You could even say butterflies are "in the air."
Ha, ha, ha.
Also, even if you don't know what a butterfly looks like, you don't need to feel left out of this new cultural phenomenon. 618 has helpfully illustrated it for you: )i(
kdjkdf
from a 909 phone number, Saturday, March 22, 3:26 PM
I write this sort of thing all the time! It's a great way of being like, "I'm flummoxed, I'm floored, I'm stammering, I'm stuttering, oh my god, ugh, I don't know what to say"-- anything like that. bfhesghwgbvfdfbnrhgulnmsvvfb. Who is this 909 character? We obviously have things in common. We should become friends. (Assuming there's room in 909's life for two Leilas.)
from a 909 phone number, Saturday, March 22, 3:26 PM
I write this sort of thing all the time! It's a great way of being like, "I'm flummoxed, I'm floored, I'm stammering, I'm stuttering, oh my god, ugh, I don't know what to say"-- anything like that. bfhesghwgbvfdfbnrhgulnmsvvfb. Who is this 909 character? We obviously have things in common. We should become friends. (Assuming there's room in 909's life for two Leilas.)
where are u
from a 310 phone number, Thursday, March 20, 11:29 PM
Javab nemidi
from a 310 phone number, Friday, March 21, 12:13 AM
Another question-mark-less question! The answer is: At home, in my study.
As for "Javab nemidi," I don't know WHAT that means. Usually I would do you all the favor of babelfishing it, but tonight I'm using my slow old computer because my fast new computer is refusing to accept a charge. Merely pulling up the babelfish page would take about ten minutes, and frankly I have a lot of texts to record tonight, and I don't have the time to wait for a webpage to load.
If you happen to speak this language, though (whatever language it may be), then, by all means, translate for us.
from a 310 phone number, Thursday, March 20, 11:29 PM
Javab nemidi
from a 310 phone number, Friday, March 21, 12:13 AM
Another question-mark-less question! The answer is: At home, in my study.
As for "Javab nemidi," I don't know WHAT that means. Usually I would do you all the favor of babelfishing it, but tonight I'm using my slow old computer because my fast new computer is refusing to accept a charge. Merely pulling up the babelfish page would take about ten minutes, and frankly I have a lot of texts to record tonight, and I don't have the time to wait for a webpage to load.
If you happen to speak this language, though (whatever language it may be), then, by all means, translate for us.
Do you have lots of homework
from a 503 phone number, Thursday, March 20, 10:43 PM
Why
from a 503 phone number, Friday, March 21, 6:39 PM
Hay. What r u doing for spring break
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, March 22, 7:16 PM
To answer your questions in order, 503 (even though you did not put a question mark at the end of any of them): No; I don't know; Dallas (though that's for work, not actually for "spring break"). Inquiring minds wanted to know.
from a 503 phone number, Thursday, March 20, 10:43 PM
Why
from a 503 phone number, Friday, March 21, 6:39 PM
Hay. What r u doing for spring break
from a 503 phone number, Saturday, March 22, 7:16 PM
To answer your questions in order, 503 (even though you did not put a question mark at the end of any of them): No; I don't know; Dallas (though that's for work, not actually for "spring break"). Inquiring minds wanted to know.
Im going swing Dancing @ boomers @ 8 If you want to come!
from a 970 phone number, Thursday, March 20, 6:21 PM
This same 970 person invited me to go out dancing at Boomers last Thursday. Thanks to an anonymous blog comment, we now know the exact address and phone number of Boomers, just in case anyone is in the Colorado area and wants to go. Thanks for your help, Leila Text readers!
from a 970 phone number, Thursday, March 20, 6:21 PM
This same 970 person invited me to go out dancing at Boomers last Thursday. Thanks to an anonymous blog comment, we now know the exact address and phone number of Boomers, just in case anyone is in the Colorado area and wants to go. Thanks for your help, Leila Text readers!
where r u how r u i miss u so much!
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, March 19, 10:17 AM
amandas out! don't txt back! i do not want 2 hear ur insults!
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, March 19, 10:32 PM
I swear these two texts are from the same phone number. I, too, was disbelieving, but really they are. What on earth could have happened between 10 AM and 10 PM that would make 917 go from "i miss u so much!" to "don't txt back!"? What did Leila do to her over the coure of those 12 hours? Steal her boyfriend? Murder her mother?
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, March 19, 10:17 AM
amandas out! don't txt back! i do not want 2 hear ur insults!
from a 917 phone number, Wednesday, March 19, 10:32 PM
I swear these two texts are from the same phone number. I, too, was disbelieving, but really they are. What on earth could have happened between 10 AM and 10 PM that would make 917 go from "i miss u so much!" to "don't txt back!"? What did Leila do to her over the coure of those 12 hours? Steal her boyfriend? Murder her mother?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Door open
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 8:39 PM
Oh, I don't know, probably 865 and Leila are house robbers. Leila stands watch while 865 jimmies open the door, and then once he's gotten it open, he texts her to let her know it's time to come running in with a sack so they can loot the place. I'm not sure if that's exactly it, but I'm sure it's something along those lines.
from an 865 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 8:39 PM
Oh, I don't know, probably 865 and Leila are house robbers. Leila stands watch while 865 jimmies open the door, and then once he's gotten it open, he texts her to let her know it's time to come running in with a sack so they can loot the place. I'm not sure if that's exactly it, but I'm sure it's something along those lines.
My internet/computer is being wat retarded :/ good luck studying we'll talk more later babycakes! *muah!*
from a 714 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 1:44 AM
Yet another exciting emoticon! :/ That wrestler who may or may not have been from Massachusetts could sure learn a thing or two from this text.
Meanwhile, what I notice about this text is that it was typed out on a keyboard, rather than via predictive texting or via the 'tap' method. Can you tell how we know? (The answer is the word 'wat'. You see why?)
from a 714 phone number, Tuesday, March 18, 1:44 AM
Yet another exciting emoticon! :/ That wrestler who may or may not have been from Massachusetts could sure learn a thing or two from this text.
Meanwhile, what I notice about this text is that it was typed out on a keyboard, rather than via predictive texting or via the 'tap' method. Can you tell how we know? (The answer is the word 'wat'. You see why?)
Fwd: FWD: Tears may dry, Years may fly, but my love for my girl will never die. Send this to all ur girls! Incuding me.
from a 415 phone number, Monday, March 17, 7:28 PM
This MIGHT be a sort of sweet poem to send to your girlfriend-- and by "sweet," I probably mean "retarded"-- but it loses any redeeming qualities when it's forwarded to "all ur girls." "My love for my girl will never die, and by 'my girl,' I mean everyone in my contacts list with two X chromosomes"? No, I'm sorry, you get only ONE GIRL. That's the rules.
from a 415 phone number, Monday, March 17, 7:28 PM
This MIGHT be a sort of sweet poem to send to your girlfriend-- and by "sweet," I probably mean "retarded"-- but it loses any redeeming qualities when it's forwarded to "all ur girls." "My love for my girl will never die, and by 'my girl,' I mean everyone in my contacts list with two X chromosomes"? No, I'm sorry, you get only ONE GIRL. That's the rules.
i'm warming up...opening at 220lbs :] it's cold in rhode island :P hope you're having a good day!<3
MASSmonster
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:53 AM
So I guess this guy is a wrestler, and he was at a competition this past Sunday. By MASSmonster, I think he might mean that he's from Massachusetts (which would make sense geographically, since he's competing in Rhode Island). But he could also mean that he is a monster of mass, which would be true, since 220 pounds is an awful lot of mass to carry around.
What I like most about 732's text is that he ends every sentence with a different emoticon. There's the somewhat square smile :], the stuck-out tongue :P, and of course the classic heart <3. 571 speeds through a number of different emotions and facial expressions at astonishing speed.
MASSmonster
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:53 AM
So I guess this guy is a wrestler, and he was at a competition this past Sunday. By MASSmonster, I think he might mean that he's from Massachusetts (which would make sense geographically, since he's competing in Rhode Island). But he could also mean that he is a monster of mass, which would be true, since 220 pounds is an awful lot of mass to carry around.
What I like most about 732's text is that he ends every sentence with a different emoticon. There's the somewhat square smile :], the stuck-out tongue :P, and of course the classic heart <3. 571 speeds through a number of different emotions and facial expressions at astonishing speed.
what u doin? i will call u at lunch luv ya givshayla a kiss for me and tell her daddy loves hers
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:31 AM
mmm cheesecake factory
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 7:20 PM
night night luv ya
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:26 PM
we're loading on the plane
from a 571 phone number, Monday, March 17, 9:30 AM
Ah, the continuing adventures of 571, a man who left on a trip on Friday morning and returned home on Monday morning. A man with a daughter named Shayla and a wife named Leila. A man who loves, among other things, drinking whiskey at 8:30 AM and eating at the Cheesecake Factory. I feel like we are so close, 571 guy. I have only one question: If you forgot your cell phone charger while on this trip (as you told me on Friday), then how the hell did you manage to send SO MANY texts?
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:31 AM
mmm cheesecake factory
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 7:20 PM
night night luv ya
from a 571 phone number, Sunday, March 16, 10:26 PM
we're loading on the plane
from a 571 phone number, Monday, March 17, 9:30 AM
Ah, the continuing adventures of 571, a man who left on a trip on Friday morning and returned home on Monday morning. A man with a daughter named Shayla and a wife named Leila. A man who loves, among other things, drinking whiskey at 8:30 AM and eating at the Cheesecake Factory. I feel like we are so close, 571 guy. I have only one question: If you forgot your cell phone charger while on this trip (as you told me on Friday), then how the hell did you manage to send SO MANY texts?
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