Hey. Got your number from Colin. Hope that's ok. Wanna hang out sometime this week? Karaoke was fun. Call me. - J
from a 562 phone number, Tuesday, April 22, 7:01 PM

Oh my goodness! This may be the first time I've ever been asked out via text message! Or, okay, it's not ME being asked out, per se, but still-- first dates!

I did try to construct some sort of reality in which this was intended for me-- because I DO sing an awful lot of karaoke, and it IS fun-- But I don't know anyone named Colin. Nor do I know anyone named J. Nor from Long Beach, California. Alas.